I do not accept the way you interpret the posts you have quoted but I've said I'm going to walk away because this topic is not safe for female people, so after this post I'm disconnecting for a while.
However, I hope I can bring you a bit of happiness..
I'd love to believe trans women hadn't been murdered during the time period in question
From the "counting dead women" site, as of April 2021
As far as I know, nine males who fall under the trans umbrella have
been killed in the UK since 2009. I don’t know which of them would
have described themselves as cross-dressers, transsexuals, transwomen,
trans women, or even say that they are women but using Stonewall’s
concept of the trans umbrella, there are nine. There have been over
1,800 women killed by men in the UK in the same time.
The most recent being:
Amy Griffiths, 51, was killed by Martin Saberi, in Worcestershire in
January 2019. The two have been described as friends.
So, on IWD 2021, when Rosie Duffield (correction: Not Duffield, Jess Phillips) read out the list of deaths in the UK since the last IWD (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-5636582), there had been no trans women murdered in the period.
Let's think about those numbers.
9 possibly trans women. Over 1,800 female people. 200 dead female people for every 1 trans women.
Now, to be fair Ms Karen Ingala Smith is not an official census. She builds her list from research and available sources. It's entirely possible she missed someone and that would be tragic. But I very much doubt she has missed hundred of killings of UK trans women, not least because such cases would be a significant topic of concern and discussion.
So yeah, make the argument the site should be called Counting Dead Female People, I'd agree with that. And make the argument that maybe IWD should be International Female Day - after all, no one is saying that Females can't exist as a meaningful social and political group, right? And a day to focus on the global challenges and progress of Female people would indeed be welcome. But don't take a list of murdered female people and make the most important thing about it whether it's using the "right" definition of woman. I'd say that is poor taste - in fact I'd say "poor taste" doesn't even come close.