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I don't know what do ...
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For bucks sake I nearly fell for that one

Yes I'm quite fawned of that

A friend of mine asked his father for the best place to hunt deer in Italy
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' you need to go to Venice , son '

A friend of mine painted a portrait of a deer using a brush in each hand
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They're bambidextrous

A friend of mine has invested in a deer cloning business
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They're hoping to make a quick buck

Good morning people
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Let's get this watch party started
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Peace and love

The German founder of the athletics event of jumping over short fences interspersed with sprints has sadly passed away
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Rest in peace Herr D'Lerr

A friend of mine washed up on a desert island with nothing but tins of reddish brown paint and fabric whose fibres were matted together
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They felt marooned

Wolex Wednesday

It's thirsty work looking at such lovely watches on display today
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Hope you are all doing well
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Peace love and happy weekend

A friend of mine has just returned from a Lepidoptera hunt with Mick Jagger . My friend found loads but Mick came back empty handed. When asked why he had done so badly , Mick replied
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' A rolling stone gathers no moths '

A friend of mine who works for Iceland told me yesterday that they are having their wages frozen

Hope everyone is doing well
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Time for a day off
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Peace and love

A friend of mine has been working in a cocaine processing plant . They're not too happy with the working conditions
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I told them to talk to their line manager

Et encore

On the roundabout on furzedown road in blooming tooting
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Peace love and flower to the people

A double glazing sales rep friend of mine is being investigated by the inland revenue
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They've promised complete transparency

A cheese maker friend of mine has just won an award for customer service
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The judges said they'd gone whey beyond the call of duty

A friend of mine went to a covid secure wedding this weekend . They said it was really well organised in terms of bubbles
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Champagne on arrival then another glass with the toasts

The game could be called off as one of the Ukrainian players has tested positive for covid
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It's the leftback tikli chestikof

I was shocked to hear that michael gove and sarah vine are separating after 20 years of marriage
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How could it have lasted that long

Hope everyone is doing well
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Only six months to go before babylon christmas
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Peace and love

A friend of mine is in hospital after an after dinner accident
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His wife asked if he could clear the table
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In spite of a long run up he caught his back leg on a wine bottle

A friend of mine has reluctantly finished a long happy career at the tyre factory
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Apparently they were really Goodyears

Sad news today as the funeral of the inventor of Tupperware has had to be delayed
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The funeral directors have struggled to find a lid that fits the coffin