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Ok, so my PERSONAL taste does not run to MTBs, BMXs or tourers, but I guess they can be pornstars to others. I prefer Campag to Shimano, that doesn't make me right. I save my disdain for pedal-free wallhanging show-ponies, which are immaculate because they're unridden.

But, thinking of show-ponies, that Merckx is like turning Kauto Star into a dressage horse, it's just wrong, that's not what it's made for.

More beautiful bikes, if you please and stop squabbling!

Just take a look at 'Fort Track 7005 Lo Pro' in classifieds and you'll see what your bike could/should look like.

^To remind us that this is the Interweb, where some people prefer their pornstars porky and a bit ugly......

Stop agreeing with me, I want angry ranting hipsters with ironic trilbies and double straps which they never pull tight. I need Camden Town to be really slightly irritable as I piss in their tofu....

.... and buy some new road shoes.

You really have seen the light! Clips and flats are for hipsters who don't care about how fast they're going/ how much effort they're wasting bending their horrible flappy soles..... Just so long as they can look cool outside the nearest coffee emporium to their designer home.

Fuse lit, explosion awaited!

My commute is 20 miles, it doesn't really matter how fast you go but fixed over lumpy roads IS slower (I use both fixed and geared, depending on mood and weather). Use whichever makes you smile most, in my case generally fixed, you will regret this decision on windy days.....

Nah, the bars are 66/40 not 66/42, so it's all a bit rubbish really..... Oh, sod it, even the chrome looks good, lucky bastard!

Ah, the great metropolis of Swaffham, it was the far turn of one of my rides when I was at school in scenic Norfolk. Is it still closed?

Dad went to the oven in full Dartford Wheelers team kit and his second best shoes. I scattered his ashes on our favourite climb, from a bike, in a skinsuit. He would have been most disappointed that I didn't fall off.

Front and rear mechs and chainset are Super Record, those bits alone are worth much more than you paid for the whole bike! Are the pedals Campagnolo? The brakes look like Victory, I'd have to check.

^^^Rive, I know, I know, hoping for news tomorrow.

^^Monsieur Fignon, you may be presumptuous, exactly the BB I want, just making sure axle length is correct. Besides, 'lightly used' on internet ads appears to mean 'fucked', and 'NOS' means 'sell a small child'. The shoes don't fit me either....

^NCJ, simples, I just waited for my Dad to die last year, please don't feel bad about this, he was 81 and rode until nearly the end.

Mice!

You could always try Exustar Keo copies, I've now got them on five bikes and have had no problems, they weigh nothing and come complete with cleats for £25 so if you don't like them, who cares?

That's worrying, knackered spring? New cleats time? (I know they're metal, but they do wear out eventually).

Apply allen key to tightenny-uppy bolt?

No amount of turd polishing can disguise the fact that it's as elegant as a hippo in a tutu.

I'm no fan of the NJS thingy, but that Nagasawa looks great, apart from the top-tube protector ruining classic lines.

Last few bits are here, now just wait impatiently for frame...

There's only one saddle I could possibly use, a Turbo (in Nubuck leather, of course). Cheap Campag cartridge 115mm BB, if this fits and keeps the inner ring clear of the chainstay something better may be added later. The shoes are original and surprisingly weigh less than modern ones, thus proving that an ability to tie your own shoelaces saves the weight of all those buckles/straps/wire systems/dials etc.

By the way, anyone looking for gum hoods to fit old Modolo (I think Campag are identical), Dia Compe from SJS Cycles fit perfectly for less than a tenner posted. Cane Creek are claimed to fit but don't!

^Correct, naturally.

Everyone else seems to be tieing themselves up in knots about weight, rotating mass etc. Tandems are so fast because two riders are pushing the frontal area of one person into air resistance, so even two fat blokes are comparatively aerodynamic.

They're a bastard to get going because of the huge difficulties of synchronising two fat blokes (try getting out of the saddle on a tandem!), but once they're going, they fly! Don't try riding them up big hills either.....

My memory is that a tandem weighs pretty much the same as two bikes, because of the stiffened frame and heavy wheels, let us know about the finished weight Tester, if you can lift it.

£27 got me the carbon slr-alike on the Cannibal, 90g but about a 3 week wait.

Ooops, senility strikes again, chain is in groupset!

Watching this with interest, although at this price range I would go OTP with last years' model from a major manufacturer, boring old me!

7.6kg is a light bike, it might be slightly heavier with a chain, which doesn't seem to appear on your parts list, rim tapes might help as well....

Nope, the amazing aerodynamicness of the Aero was achieved with Air forks and stays, standard SLX main tubes and centre mounted gear lever boss (currently being chromed). No wind tunnel was hurt in this frame design.

Try the van Gogh solution to uneven weight distribution, cut off an ear.

Precisely, Ed, that's why I think others are suggesting that anything bought from Decathlon should be rebuilt by someone who knows what they're doing!

^^^^^edscoble, am I right to remember that you had your custom jobby built up in a shop?

Decathlon are great value for money, but from what I've seen, little else.

Looks like he's likely to be sacked from the Godolphin horse racing stable as well................

^Not when it's 20 miles each way along the coast (frequently on carbon)!

Just thought I'd rub that in........