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Starlings having a murmuration

where's the fun in that?

Saying hi is just one step from anal so just go for it

Have you got the right pressure in them? You must weight about as much as me (approx 1x crisp packet) and with too much pressure in them they'll not be nice on stuttering little bumps.

Swinley on a Sunday a couple of months back was a Lol n00b nightmare. I've nothing against riders of all abilities riding the same trails and that's kinda the point of Swinley, something for everyone, but stopping mid trail (mid fucking berm actually!) to chat, dropping crisp packets, brakes pointing sky high, quick releases not done up, all culminating in a dude knocking himself unconscious directly In front of me in the jump gulley made for a bit of a tedious day out.

Ride safely, honeybadgers.

The etymology of German town naming is vaguely interesting, nein?

Belmensch maybe?

With all the attention it's getting, I bet that rabbit's lapin it up

A goPro, watch me die, internet

They both live on the same street and yet stay at the Premier Inn 2 miles from their home on more than one occasion?

Just been to boots, beconase contains the same active drug as boots own nasal spray bclomethsone or something similar. £4.30 instead of £6, get on it you sneezy mofos

Three days of bacon awe and the symptoms with stop, but it'll be shit for three days. Don't like stuff up your nose? Get over it, obviously your hayfever is not bad enough.

Bacon awe!? Wtf I meant beconase, but bacon would be awesome

Three days of bacon awe and the symptoms with stop, but it'll be shit for three days. Don't like stuff up your nose? Get over it, obviously your hayfever is not bad enough.

I was gonna mention the music in this one (great choice) but thought i'd kinda pissed you off last time ;-) after all, wtf do I know about bmx, I sold mine a couple of months back as it hadn't moved for a year.

Fetch me the ladder, I'd like to climb off my high horse please.

Why are you making a horse smoke weed? Why?

Weed nowadays is so strong I always end up totally monged when I smoke

They're only good for snorting in June

And here's my latest project.
...more concerned with fun on Vimeo

Sweet vid, only just watched it. A little slice of Canterbury in there too.

Hmm, none round my parts, though I did recently see a grey wagtail, which made me fairly happy.

I mean - Goodness, and where might I spy a cheeky yellowhammer these days?

Shit fam, where you at?

Incidentally, the Yellowhammer is not terribly rare and does not warrant any swearyness. It's distinctive 'a little bit of bread and no cheese' call is quite sweet too.

Keep 'em peeled

That said I get berated often by friends for saying things like retard, but if you've been brought up with it and it's in common parlance then often it comes out without you realising quite how bad it is. The same way that kids say gay.

I always thought belm was a scouser thing too, although all my scouser mates say chelm.

It's just appropriate to modify your language to your audience (Mister Coker from John Wyndham's 'Day of the Triffids' was a master of this). If I'm in the pub, watching football and drinking babycham then I could probably mutter "Bollocks Ref, that was never offside, you belm" without attracting a glance.

If my mother was to spot the fairly rare Yellowhammer bird whilst on a nature ramble with her club she would struggle to be forgiven for bellowing, "Look! A bloody Yellowhammer! That's rare as fuck!" Before scrabbling to tick it off in her spotting diary.

She denies this ever happened.

Anyway, modify your language to suit your audience, be they tedious do-gooders or drunken scaffolders.

Cyclists - Why the fuck are you undertaking?

I just had some spam email from 99dollarseo.com am I the only one to read this as 'doll arse'?

Fuck, my Barbie fetish is out

This is why you have limit screws

Not the English ones, evidently.

Sexist jokes are still ok, right?