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Yeah I'm full of first world problems as well, today for example:

"I'm taking a few weeks off work so I woke up late today, now I don't have time to go to the bike shop and bake a lovely cake and write an article about Kenyan racing and fix up my Daccordi."

Fixing bikes with another person can make it more enjoyable if you're both into it. Where are you based?

All four of my bikes are in some way broken/unrideable.

it's really hard for me to be arsed fixing a puncture when I can just grab the next bike along...

#firstworldproblems

although he did initially put on speed at a rate of...

Nice term. Will use.

^ Looks a total cocking bargain to me. But also tiny.

^ That looks great, keep us in the loop.

Dibs. I have PMed about PayPal and postage.

Not a stupid question. Very good question. The problem is that the bunch went faster than me up a steady incline and I would struggle to cling on. This happened on every incline!

Here's the terrain, look at the rolling ridges. Look at them.

I did cling to the back during the first few but it became harder and harder, with me having to catch the bunch each time. So I attempted to move forward in the bunch during a decline so that some riders could overtake me on the next hill without me getting spat out the back. I tried this exactly once, and couldn't elbow my way into the line near the front, wind in face, lost speed, pushed hard to regain speed, didn't have the legs to cling onto the back.

^ That could go wrong rather painfully.

I've entered! - 09:10 start but I'll turn up a bit early and start whenever.

British autumn riding is going to come as a bit of a shock after Kenya. I'll be in tights for the first time in 18 months!

^ That's your tactic, huh?

In this weekend's race (write-up soon) I managed to simply point to the ground in front of a rider and he let me in!

My mate (came 1st mzungu in both races) suggested the following: veer into the line until your bars overlap in front of another rider's and then slow a little so they are forced to slow with you, opening a gap in front of them.

I suppose that you could substitute "your bars" for "your arm/elbow"? Are there rules against barging arm-first into a paceline?

^ That might cause a satire blowout.

Sounds good to me. How did the climb feel?

I'll be back in the UK very soon, I should pick some club rides to attend. Will you do another with Brixton CC?

Ta but I was only 4th mzungu (white man). I was 29th overall!

I fared slightly better in yesterday's race though, so hold the champagne & kisses until that write up.

^ A car and a couple of motorbikes, but they did nothing about the traffic. There was very little traffic, mostly just empty road. Also this road is new so there are actually no potholes for the entire 125km. There are a lot of rumble strips and speed bumps though! Oh and of course there are wandering cattle which made me a little nervous once or twice. But it's easily the best road in Kenya.

This race, the Savannah Classic, was last weekend. I raced another event this weekend, the "Cycloville Annual". Similar length but far far worse conditions, i.e. hugely cratered road surface and congested traffic. The route blasted straight through several small towns, offering their buffet of roaming drunks and stray dogs, rectangular-profiled speed bumps and cars doing U-turns at 1.5mph. I got forced off the road by a petrol tanker and nearly front-ended an articulated lorry. A full write up will come once I get some work off my plate tomorrow.

Cycling itself is really no biggie in Kenya - I ride a bike around Nairobi every day and honestly it's fine. Can be a bit hairy at points, but there's also this anarchic freedom in having effectively no traffic laws. You force your way around like all the cars do, and make your own luck. I wish I had a GoPro!

.

I rode my first proper road race, Kenya's "Savannah Classic". 125km on a flat/rolling road, stretching from the Tanzanian border up towards Nairobi. 1200m ascent (ish).

Among the field of 55 riders were the best in Kenya. The field was STRONG including David Kinjah (to whom Froome owes his skillz) and his Safari Simbas pro team (green kit) plus the Safari Simbas youth team (red & white kit) and another team from Tanzania all wearing Google jerseys.

**Numbers!
**The lead six riders (including Kinjah) finished in 3:08:00, making their average 39.9kph [25.0mph]. I finished 29th with a time of 3:46:00, making my average 33.2kph [20.6mph], the fastest I have ever ridden for any real distance.

**Start
**Up at 6am after a night of repeated calls to prayer from the bazillion mosques, crappy hotel breakfast, 25 minute warm up, collected into a group and started rolling.

**First 20 km
**Poking clandestinely out the window of a 4x4, the flag was waved and the race began. The peleton cruised at 30kph for maybe 10km. It was easy to sit in and spin but we were packed very tight, shoulder to shoulder, which made me nervous as I tried not to wobble into anyone. At the top of the first hill (which was long and 4-6% like all the hills) the leaders stepped the pace up to 38-40kph and we shed half our riders. The next hill came at 20km and I found myself without a wheel to sit on and unable to force my way into a solid line of riders to my left. I sat in the wind as these machines drove themselves uphill until I was summarily dropped, spat out the back. Probably 30 riders were ahead of me, including only two expats.

**20 - 80 km
**Watching the lead group vanish, I thought "this was always going to happen, no worries, just form a new group". I quickly found a big strong Londoner named Paddy who was complaining about being short of breath, because the race is at altitudes of 1400-1700m and he's fresh from the UK. I offered him my wheel to recover, and then we worked together to catch another three Kenyan riders. These guys were in Kinjah's Safari Simbas youth team, aged like 15-18 years and were tiny, probably like 50-55kg. They were not very welcoming and attacked us repeatedly but couldn't drop us. To persuade them to work with us I shouted "TUNAHITAJI KUFANYA KAZI KWA MOJA"- (We need to work as one). We tried a messy rotating paceline before settling for a solid 2-2-2 formation, cruised like this for probably 60km and caught another teenager from Tanzania on the way. These cheeky young East Africans attacked us hefty Brits on every hill and then worked with us on the flats - it was a strange relationship. I also nearly caused a crash when descending with these riders. My wheel came into heavy contact with the wheel in front and the "zzzzzzzzip" of my tyre on his was a scary sound indeed. Must practise more bunch riding….

The sun was super strong and I'd forgotten to SPF up. Having never done this before, I managed to sort it without even losing the wheel in front which is possibly my most impressive act of the day.

**80 - 126 km (finish)
**The feed stops were hilarious as volunteers were holding out CUPS of water to passing riders. Not one rider today managed to grab a cup without the water exploding uselessly into the air and/or the volunteer's face, so at the 80km mark we stopped fully at a feed stop to take on water & glucose. A shoe issue kept me at the stop for an extra 30 seconds and all four East African youth attacked, leaving only Paddy waiting for me. Us two Brits caught James the 15 year old Kenyan, but we had lost the stronger three. For the remaining 46km, James raced negatively but cleverly, attacking us Brits on the hills and just sitting on our wheels on the flat. He was probably 50kg to my 73kg and Paddy's 90kg (!). Paddy was powerful on the flat and did some heroic 40kph turns on the front. I noticed we were 1.5km from the finish and I tried to do a Cancellara style in-the-saddle solo effort, but simply ended up leading out Paddy & James for their sprint and found myself last in the trio thinking "that didn't go as planned". To be honest I had very little juice left so wasn't too upset with myself. Paddy won the sprint, making him 3rd mzungu http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mzungu and me 4th.

There was confusion over the race winner because there was no sign saying "finish 2km ahead" and the front six riders crossed the finishing line in a very tight messy bunch. So, somewhat arbitrarily, Kinjah came 3rd behind two other teammates. That 17 year old Peter Gathere was in the finishing bunch with these 25-45 year old elites is just astounding. If he gets the right support he'll be a rider to watch in the coming years, like a black Froome? Who knows.

**TL:DR
**I raced with a load of Kenyans and expats including some pros. I went fast and loved it. Also it appears I can't sprint. Plastic cups are not effective vectors for supplying water to riders travelling above 20mph.

Video
Taken during the first few kilometres before the pro team (in green kit) turned on the pain. I'm at the very back, on the left. Use the HD button for better viewing.
**CLICK FOR VIDEO --> . ** . <--- CLICK FOR VIDEO

. Apologies for the socks. My shoe got stuck to the pedal and was removed later.

I might have a used pair of Shimano size 47 SPD shoes available soon. They are not the slim Sidi-shape, rather the more Vans-shape.

Also a pair of Schwalbe Marathon Dureme tyres, 700x32c. One of the fastest rolling 32c and tyres built with a thin, slick middle line and grippy shoulders.

Also got some cheapish spd cleats to fit Shimano pedals, but these cleats are manufactured by VP.

Sound good?

I'll take a pair of SPD pedals if there's any left!

PMed.

I'm loving the care and attention given to this route.

Lifebuoy 1988: I'd be happy to catch the train with you, I'll be travelling from Billericay. I'd just planned to train it to Liverpool Street and then ride the 11-12 miles to Sidcup. Sound like a plan?

j.m.f. - Slovenia looks stunning

Skully - I think tagalongs are the main reason I'd have kids. Bravo.

fussballclub - Great scenery. Those poles look a bit hazardous on the descents though...

^

With a pop and a splatter goes my LFGSS list virginity:

1. Robertyogurt
   
2. Earthloop
   
3. Indra
   
4. Mespilus * Provisional offer to lead km 48 to 72
   
5. Mespilus minor
   
6. LHL
   
7. Idiot
   
8. HORRO
   
9. blue fleet
   
10. Hairnet
    
11. Paramounted
    
12. Eamesy
    ƐƖ. Boner
    
13. shinkuu kiss
    
14. alasdair
    
15. AirTime
    
16. YAL
    
17. Melsbikes
    
18. hats
    
19. T4
    
20. Itisaboutthebike
    
21. Temp
    
22. starfish & coffee (presuming I can sort out of knee issue)
    
23. blackdolan
    
24. sd ii
    
25. Xesar
    
26. apollo
    
27. Bun
    
28. Ndeipi
    

I've listened to that mix all the way through about six times.

Tastes are still similar to 2011, it seems. Missing You is getting airplay, and a friend and I enjoy chorusing along in our best patois KING SIYUZ PO-AST, to the amusement of passengers/drivers.

Lots of niiiiice looking rides this weekend, you guys. Top work.

^^^ Super, ta. Will try this rather than buying my next tub.

Hey scottmac, sorry I guess I misunderstood a few things. Sounds like you're working hard but not having much luck!

I'd be surprised if you couldn't get this sorted within a week. Wish I could help further.