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Energy bars, bananas and about 2kg of pasta does baaaad things to you.

So does an overdose of painkillers...and a few drams of whiskey. :]

Nine hours on a train to Scotland and back today was really what my destroyed knees and pukey stomach needed. :[

Great ride and good company. Drifted off to sleep with the sound of Watson the Wonderdog howling for his master's return.

Which roughly translated into "I'm waiting for my master to return so that I can piss on his bed again just as he's about to sleep in it"
:[

I think a lot of people are reading the rolling time from their bike computers rather than the total time.

This is known as cheating and everyone with a shorter total time than you probably needs to be disqualified.

So I win the race?
Yyayyyy
;]

...Also I'd like to apologise to all the people who had to listen to me whistling the same verse of this song over and over again. It was stuck in my head! :]

Night all.

http://youtu.be/iWRE-1K84o8

instead packed a bag of suff that a serial killer is likely to have in his possession: tins of ham, doctor octopus action figure, barking toy poodle, christian romantic novel, a page from a medical dictionary, Libra 1983 horoscope book, leaflet about dealing with the abuse of elderly... in Bengali.

Made me laugh! :]

...The bad and the ugly.

Ok...So I made the decision to ride back, figuring it would take a while longer than the outward journey on account of the ridiculous, soul destroying headwind...and the extra fatigue...and nausea. :]

It was awesome riding towards all these people heading for the beach, seeing faces that I knew...and saying Hi to ones I didn't who often looked equal parts knackered and elated.
So many smiles from people, which really gives you a moral boost.
Leo, was great to see you so close to the beach, and DJ in your finery, and JahTim again, and Tibbs...and Soul, and many more

Once I got rolling I actually felt better than the last part of the outward journey, and was trying hard to force myself to eat and drink, despite whatever I ate making me wanna spew...but I knew I had to keep my fuel levels up to avoid bonking.

I met Rosie along the way, but as I know she likes to do this kind of thing on her own, at her own pace I didn't force my annoying presence on her and carried on at my own pace too.
Then quite a bit further down the road, once i got back on route after another directional fuck up I came across a couple of older guys also riding home to London...I tagged along for a while until Needham Market where I stuck around to grab some food.
Somehow I made the mistake of taking a dual carriageway, which combined with the headwind was crushing!

By the time I arrived in the town centre I was beginning to feel really knackered, but couldn't face any proper food without thinking about spewing, so I tried to make myself feel better by buying an Orange Maid ice lolly...which helped lift my spirits a little.
I also bought a couple of bags of sweets to nibble on on the rest of the ride home.

The next big chunk of the ride was spent mostly in pain from my knees and shoulders, and feeling like I was gonna throw up at any moment.
I plodded along at what felt like walking pace thanks to the headwind and ridiculous amount of slightly uphill drags.
It felt like literally every corner you turned was followed by a slight incline, and the headwind made them seem so much worse.

The next big part of the ride all the way to Dunmow was just a mix of really slow, really painful riding, while all the time my nausea got worse.
Once I reached Dunmow I knew I was gonna throw up, so I sat on the side of the road on a verge by my bike where I started nodding off...which I really didn't want to do.
Then I woke up, and immediatelly spewed my guts up. Sadly I knew that wasn't all of it so didn't feel any better.
Then my mum called, so I layed on the grass next to my bike as I chatted...at which point a van pulled up and the driver asked If i was ok...I think he thought I'd crashed or something? :]

I set off again feeling really sleepy and really sick, and somehow eventually made it to Epping.
Then came the biblical thunderstorm!
I was soaked to the bone and carried on until I saw a chip shop in the town.
I was riding so slowly that I knew it would still be ages till I got home, so i figured I'd stop and try and get some real food.
I ordered sausage and chips and a black tea.
As soon as it arrived I suddenly couldn't face eating it...I had three chips and two pieces of sausage. then sprinted for their toilet where I projectile vomited everywhere.

I then had to clean it all up before explaing to the staff that their food was lovely, but I wasn't feeling well.
I set off again for the final push home, only to be drenched by another thunderstorm.

It was at this point where I began to fall asleep...whilst riding.
I realised I was weaving about rather dangerously. So tried pushing for a while.
Then I was falling asleep pushing.
I decided to sit on the pavement by a shop cos I needed to throw up again, but I couldn't and instead just started falling asleep next to my bike.
I then alternated between pushing, riding, and trying not to fall asleep and ride under a car for the rest of the way home.

Once I got there, I threw up one more time....then my lovely housemate looked after my dog so I could try and nap...hopefully without throwing up.

I now feel totally worked over, but have to go to Scotland and back tomorrow on the train to pick up my kids...Hopefully without throwing up again. :]

The moral of this story...Don't ride back from Dunwich into a headwind when you're already fucked, doped up on painkillers, and have barely ridden a bike in over a year.
But then you folks are all more sensible tham me.

Congratulations to everyone who finished, and the few who rode back!
I think I'm washing my hair next year!

That sound like a possibilities, and the fact you drank whisky with painkillers doesn't help too Scott!

Ha...I forgot that part. :]

I only had about 3 swigs the whole ride though. :]

@skully...I still had fun...just not on most of the way home.
@Ed...I don't think so as it was what I mormally eat...may have been the amount of painkillers...which led to problems near the end. :]
@Missmouse....parts of it were. :]

^^^Scott you looked like you were on a mission from God when I saw you on your return journey.

Yeah I actually felt better at that point than the last half of the outward journey...didn't last though! :]
Good to pass you guys all looking so happy. :]

I must say though...I'm confused by some peoples time estimates, as people who left before me and got there after me seem to have a shorter total time? Hmm

Firstly, It's gonna be another wall of words I'm afraid. :[

The good...[mostly]
I was really looking forward to the DD this year, but it ended up being the hardest ride I've ever done and has left me a broken man. :[

I ended up leaving so much later than i wanted to after faffing around for ages at home trying to sort everything out for my dog sitter [thanks Nellai] and taking the dog out, and briefly talking to my kids on the phone to say I would call them when I got to London fields.

I eventually set off to the fields and as I approached Mare street It was swamped with hundreds of riders and I realised pretty much everyone had left. So I stopped at the side of the road to call my boys. I ended up being on the phone for half an hour as I watched everybody that I knew go sailing by. I thought it was about nine when I finally got off thephone, but as people who said they left at nine too had already sailed past half an hour earlier I'm guessing it was nine thirty when I got rolling.

I was determined to catch people up that I knew so I set off pretty fast. I passed Braker and a few forum Jerseys just before Epping, then caught up with Edsoble in Epping town centre. I was feeling ok at this stage so decided to stay at the pace I was at and continued to move past riders.
It was lovely finally catching up with JahTim who has such a relaxing and calm attitude that you can't help feeling happy. :]
I said my goodbyes and set off on my way at my own pace.
I continued passing riders and then heard a rumble of a Dulwich Paragon train about to overtake me, so I latched on behind them in Ninja style and stuck with them for about 5 miles just to move down the road a bit quicker and make up some time for my still intended return journey.

Things rolled along nicely until just before Sudbury when I suddenly began to feel really nauseous. I sat on the bridge in Sudbury for a while hoping it might go away, but it never did...for the rest of the whole damn ride.
I found myself on my own quite a lot past Sudbury.
Somehow I kept bumping into the Paragon train and would occasionally tag along...until they went the wrong way and missed a little kink in the road heading towards Monks Eliegh.
I was on my own again then for what felt like ages until I eventually caught up with a light. Didn't get this guys name but we stuck together for about ten miles, and were doing well until somehow we messed up and ended up in bloody Wickham market, where I knew I shouldn't be.
I was struggling for energy by now and told him to carry on while I stopped for a food break.
And I was back on my own again trying to get back on route...I eventually rejoined at Framlingham..right in front of the same Paragon guys. :]
However, they took a different route out of Framlingham so they were gone again.

Bit late now, but to cut a long outward story short...I finally arrived on my own at the beach at 4:3O and promptly ordered a full english which was so welcome, despite me still feeling like I was going to throw up. :[ I didn't recognise a single face anywhere.
I was then joined by Scoble half an hour later, which was a good time for fixed, then spotted Prav and Rosie a bit after that.
By this point I had decided there was no way on earth I was riding back this time as I felt so sick and was in a lot of pain from my shoulders and knees.

Rosie set off for home after a quick sandwich break, looking way fresher than I was feeling. :]

Then reality kicked In...I would have to sit around feeling like I was gonna throw up, getting cold for FIVE HOURS if I got on a coach.
Hmmm...I could be most of the way home by that point...Right?
Wrong! Very wrong!

So off I went on my merry way.

As I said, I apologise for the length of this potentially boring story...but I've never been good at abbreviating anything.
I'm gonna get something to eat before coming back with the bad and the ugly. :]

Hehe...what a loser...I'm finally just about to head to London fields now and hope some friendly faces are still there!

Later!
:]

The fact that I'm still not ready and nobody has posted on here in nearly an hour leads me to believe i'm fucking LATE!!! :[

I have a sneaky feeling I may be playing catchup at this rate. :[

And can I just say again how shit these mudguards are!
:]

I haven't eaten all day...still have to go and buy food for me, food for the dog, batteries...cook the food, eat the food.
I've had a whole fucking year and i'm still late! :[

Leaving now, pick up Yas, head to the start.

Let's do this.

Does Yasi work in Evans? If so she served me earlier....very nice and helpful she was too.

Although these crud roadracers are crap!

Not that it's her fault...just needed to say it. :]

Fuckingshitcuntarseholeroadracermudguardpiecesofcrap!!!!

This has been resolved.

Sigh..reminds me of meeting you for the first time in that toilet and you giving me your phone number! ;]

@BRP crud road racers are designed for 23c tyres and 25c do just about fit but need a bit more attention to fitting to avoid rubbing. Anything larger forget it.

Cool...It's for the 23's on the road bike. :]

Back In! :]
http://youtu.be/QcTUNkyE8TQ

It'll be dry all night, you'll be hunky dory!

@ Iain, if you take all that on the bike, you're a dickhead.

hehe

Ask nelaii?

She a poorly girl.

FUCK! I just lost my dog sitter for tonight and tomorrow. I may be out. :[