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Hi Wig! I've been away up my colon for the last two weeks, so I couldn't reply to your post. If it's not a height thing is it a hair thing? Jeez. My mate WonderBrian just bought a TERRY DOLAN instrument on ebay which looks positively aeronautical. Three times a week up the North Walsham Rd. at 6am the BASTARD is doing 28mph. And I'm on my Harry Hill watching that MAMIL arse in the distance. I hate middle age.

Evenin' Gents, I've been away in Oz. Compulsory helmets there - even for fully grown adults. Sad/vaguely amusing to see the rulemongers still monging their way around the nursery. Is this a height thing?

I don't like independent financial advisers. Specifically I hate paying to put petrol in their poxy BMWs. NEVER fix - over time you may suffer a few ups and downs, but the freedom to change is worth far more than being locked into the bankers' trough.

On the other hand, you may fix your wheels, apparently.

I like it when I'm driving and it's 5 seconds past 1pm, the speedpmeter in the car reads 70mph, the rev cpunter is at 3500 the fuel tank is 3/4 full, and the temperature gauge is reading half way. THEN, YES THEN ALL OF THE DIALS ARE POINTING EXACTLY THE SAME WAY. Oh God, I think I'm coming...

Tripe? Oven mitts? I think Mr. Wig must be a chef somewhere. Harvester? Anyway I went out and bought oven mitts. Then I cut holes in the ends for my fingers and I can type perfectly. Thanks for the tip!
Actually the bike I bought seems pretty fab. It looks like Harry Hill because one of the decals is peeling. campagnolo everything - including the heaviest clunkiest pedals imaginable. Just did a search and they are Campagnolo Look clipless pedals in a sort of ceramic-looking off-white. Bizarre. Will need to sort cleats and the right kind of footwear. Where are those white stilettoes when you need them?
Pedals for sale.

No way. I've counted them. There's 10.
Does anyone know where I can buy campagnolo stabilisers?

It has three gear wheels on the front and seven at the back - ie a traditional 10 speed bike.

I've just discovered that my new bike bought off ebay has 'Harry Hill' written on the frame rather than Harry Hall.

Bike for sale.

Thank you for the self-portrait, Mr Ade. I'd get that right hand seen to, for starters.

I use zips all the time. On my trousers, my shell suit jacket and on the front of my fur-lined booties when I go to the day centre. Seriously Mr. Bot, just because your name is an anagram of spoty b doesn't mean you should get all shirty in the nursery.

And have you got more than two feet? Are you from Norfolk?

How did you know my new bike has 600 gears? Were you bidding too?

More art.

Nah Miss Shoosh, You're a little girlie. You belong here with us thumbsuckers. I was incontinent last night - credit card incontinence... the worst kind. Ended up purchasing yet another bike on ebay. I need to grow more legs to ride 'em all.

Hey Mr. Breaker, You're not supposed to be in the nursery. You're an adult. What are you? Some kind of Spaedophile?

Bugger, she's crooked.

Now let's see some art...

Oh Yeah, cycling... Well Saturday was an 8am start 30 miler around the Broads: Tunstead, Wroxham, Salhouse, Upton, Acle. Started to rain/bucket so had to dive into a boozer at 10am. Oh no there's a full English breakfast for £4.95 and a POOL TABLE! The punishing schedule as a top athlete had to take a back seat. Yum!

Miss Bones! I don't do bicycle helmets. Never did, Never will. Loathe 'em. Don't wear a pedestrian helmet either. I only wear a helmet in bed when necessary: the best contraceptive ever.

Helmets have no advantage for me: very thick skull. I'm just being considerate to the pathologists: when the juggernaut of doom eventually rolls over me, there'll be no bits of plastic to dissect out at post mortem.

Dear Miss Tellerbones, Largely healed is good - best of luck. An evening MRI sounds good too: it means private insurance. How much are you worth? Are you single er.. I mean fixed?

Hello Monsieur/Madame Shoosh. (You gotta be careful around here) I'm very interested to know what kept you off the road for such a long period. Was it a head injury? The reason I ask is that I have near-divorce proceedings once a month arguing about bicycle helmets with my wife.

Hello Gents, For extra safety remember to wear your helmet in bed. It's especially risky there - and a stupid plastic no-good propaganda-driven, fashion-item-piece-of-polycarbonate-head-enlarging piece of Shenzhen-moulded cobblers will act as a superb contraceptive. Dear God! When will you flutes get sense?

Hey Mr. Bones, Broken scaphoid is a bad business (potentially). The blood vessel that keeps the scaphoid bone alive may be torn in this injury. This can lead to failure of the two bits to unite if you don't keep your wrist immobilised for long enough. If there is non-union you can get severe arthritis. Do what you're told by the Doctor (Orthopaedic surgeon?) looking after you - even if it means 12 weeks off heavy wrist use - er... if you know what I mean.

I like the nursery. It's the one place where I don't have to wipe myself. I envy those guys who post random shite; it took me ages to think of this one.

Hi Malcolm, Please excuse my ignorance, but would the quill stem and suntour levers fit the dave quinn frame? Many thanks, JC