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Cosmic.

All things considered a better day out than it should have been - only finally warming up/changing clothes can make me say that. A few hours ago all was mortal.

Obviously all the best to Dakin.

Michael - apologies again for the spillage.

Had 66 miles on the Strava clock at London Bridge. Arriving back at Ladbroke Grove it had shot up to 120.9. Bit miffed the results are skewed but that's a fair reflection of the ride itself.

Three course breakfast.

Going to be at Look Mum No Overdraft in about 45 minutes.

Collected these earlier while delivering what will shortly become the new Argos wheel-build.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qC7dCLy56Sk

the hate thread

More like gruber/Uden circling each other to reenact the Thatcher vs Scargill conflict. This thread needs to present the chronological dramas of her life so we're nearly finished now.

Nearly choked when Jonathan Aitken popped up in the BBC studio to reminisce about his glory days with her. All that hard time's not messed with his sharp haircut, the slimy bastard.

Then old Mellor appeared on a live feed to squint, slobber and offend the senses. With friends like those death's not good enough by a long shot.

The bitter fractiousness of the woman's legacy is repeated in this thread turned epitaph. Can't you see this is what she would have wanted?

At least the next episode of Have I Got News For You might shake off its decade long slumber.

Yes, and a drinks bill you can pay.

Many Happy Returns. In for Friday drinks.

Should anyone be interested in trading one of the t-shirts available in the pub in medium for my large, I'd be interested. As an added incentive you'll get to pong of me.

North Eastern elocution is the finest in the North East.

I see Portobello on that map. No matter how hard I try my roots cannot be shaken.

Whitley Bay's fine if your attention span dissolves after 5 minutes, and Chester le Street's ideal if you have a Bryan Robson complex. A wonderful part of the world I had the good sense to leave at the grand old age of 2.

Things I saw.

A man fitting on the ground.

A workman on a bike in the City wolf-whistling at me.

Twice.

KFC in Brixton.

Twice again.

Me heading off-piste by failing to obey the signs I put up yesterday.

A raffle fix.

A splendid time in the pub afterwards.

All those who said they would come out tomorrow evening can you please meet me at LMNH at 5:00 that will give us nearly two hours of daylight to put up the signs it would help me big time if you added your name below

Zebs
Skully
Indra
Poots
hoefla
Ramaye
hats (please can someone collect signs and instructions for me)
'swine

Also for the sign take down
Almac

was she riding?
born on same day as me, truefax, csb etc

No, and neither was I - had a stroll out to buy a nice lump of cod for dinner.

Eddie Izzard and I share a birthday, and an interest in hosiery.

Minnie Driver, Kensington Park Road. Bloody threw herself at me she did.

http://www.theverge.com/2013/4/4/4183172/facebook-home-android

So facebook tries to take over android. I'm sure some people will love it, but seeing as most of the photos I see in my feed aren't perfectly taken photos of people having a great time, I seriously doubt it will be any good.

By any measure this is pure stomach bile. 'Swiping people away' with a gesture is as good a synonym as dismissing their existence in the first place, or playing around with menus or options in your homescreen because they're Facebook approved and contain a friend's face is no more interesting than being able to turn your phone on. Like Facebook itself this is weak and malicious.

For anyone old enough to remember it the Kit Kat advert featuring a derivative band destined in the eyes of a swollen music exec. to go a long way is an appropriate comparison.

Everybody and everything - discrimination in particular.

S4. Looks a real stunner to me:

http://youtu.be/2LHv1FPd1Ec

Only thing stunning about that advert, and by extension the product, is how grotesque its claims are. 'Relationships grow closer' - a phone is not marriage guidance, or an affair with her off the telly. 'Life becomes more fun' - life is crap, with sporadic moments of joy. Even if it's the other way around a phone will not improve things to a permanent blissful state one iota.

This kind of advertising is disgusting and degrading actually. A phone is used to bunk off work, call your dealer or order more pizza when you're trashed. Advertising swerves all that in favour of a fantasy life, when in the real world you often want to throw your device against a wall when none of the functions work properly and/or there's no connection so it's useless and/or software fails to live up to expectations. I couldn't make it to the end, but its tone and message is how I imagine a week-long Scientology conference to feel.

Obvious parallels with Eurovision Song Contest schmaltz as the flag-waving fans stood in St. Peter's Basilica root for their nation's chart-topper to beat all other Pope hopefuls. Here's hoping his solemn recital of Smack My Bitch Up deals a blow to chummy Balkan states vote-rigging.

^^I'd be wary of blaming the browser, even though its Night Mode 'protects your eyes from getting hurts'. Android's full of sloppy bollocks like that.

Everything displays fine on here for me using Dolphin on an inferior handset/Android build. I still have the feeling a lot of functionality's not up to it though.

Many Happy Returns Yas, on your twenty-mongth birthday today.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2013/feb/28/google-sergey-brin-smartphones-emasculating

I had to stop needlessly fiddling with my phone for several seconds to read that. Could have continued forgetting which notifications had been assigned specific sounds, and other important ephemeral things.