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Sirens double noisey in Lewisham now, oh no they gone quiet. Make yer fuckin' minds up rozzers! Summats happening but probably nowt too lairy.

Manchester copying London ? That's the sound of Tony Wlson spinning in his grave, not sirens. That skinny shit in the jock strap mask needs to do a weekend on remand in Strangeways, never mind looking like a big dick he'll get to feel one. wankshite.

That youth on Sky in Manc is the biggest pisshole I've ever seen. Just go home and have a wank you tit.

There are police sirens going fucking crazy all over Lewisham and madness on twitter about some kind of EDL /Eltham crew marching in to defend the high street??

Lewisham is fucking siren city right now, does sound like plod passing through though. No helicopters and no cnuts using my street as a steaming base like last night. I fancy a swift ride but I've had me stellas and well what with being northern I might get quite shouty.

Manc Facebook friend just posted pic of busted up Ugg shop. Uggs ? What happened to these people? All kickers, states and gazelles when I were a lad. Oh it were all different then, zeitgeist destroying nightclubs as far as the eye could see. Now it's fucking shitty shoe shops.....

Watching the Lewisham attacks (And they were) unfold last night it was very very clear that people had driven here, parked up and strolled into town to go robbing. Fortunately we have Europes largest police station and when the gormless fuckwits noticed it (It's ENORMOUS) and the riot squad streaming out they all fucked off. The damage along Lee High road was concentrated seemingly where their cars were. And these were nice motors, 10k jobs. Try pleading economic hardship' now you tossknockers. Nah, Lewisham was a small but pre-planned shopping spree by out of towners already monied up through unknown 'jobs', but no one told them the South East's police force are based right in the middle.

They just then fucked off down the A2/A20 to the next town till they found less resistance.

It was (I think) the wireless network search setting. I disabled it and banged out 5 hours of stuff no problem. Got home, switched it back on and the stuttering was back. We are done.

A what ? I'll be getting a 'fixie' next. Ok so I set latency to auto (As per the advice on that link) and realised the other advice was for the guys Dennon thing so I'm now set as per I should be. I'm giving her a big work out now and everything is ok, but who knows.
One thing is that even when I unplugged the wireless router my laptop still searches and finds neighbours connections so I'm going to disable wireless at the venue, put her on stilts for air flow and shut the shit down of every other process and cross my fingers. Otherwise I'll be switching to the Frankentop. If I could just chisel the rest of this fossilised tissue mulch offf the screen.

Hi DaveH. I played with latency and didn't see a change, however the llink you set has more detailed advice regards the checking/un-checking of boxes but my version of virtual dj (Free 7) does not have those options. Just latency speed. and in sound just wether it's a laptop or desk top etc...... Any ideas ?

Cheers for the advice all. I hoovered the exposed fan a couple of weeks back as I do twice as a year or such. I don't think it's heat per say as it was stuttery right from start up the other morning. It is probably a process or updated software that's using to much memoery and cheesing off the soundcard but there's nothing in task manager that sticks out and no halting of process has an effect.
Now, I can live with it but I've got the biggest (and likely the last) gig of my life on Saturday so have borrowed a laptop and loaded up and tested all the software and files and it's fine.Just can't get used to the mouse pad. So I'm taking both, will start with mine then when and if it screws up switch to number 2.
Not what I needed right now but then what would playing at my own wedding for 3 hours be without a few challenges eh ?

As it says, randomly and never repeatable my mp3's stutter or crackle sometimes even slowing down when played off my hard drive through itunes or virtual dj. Thought being online might be it so powered down my router but no avail. Pc forums come up with 4-5 year old answers that mean little to me. It does like getting warm and running the fan and I guess it's more noticeable deep into a set but then it does seem totally random.Laptop specs here, http://reviews.cnet.co.uk/laptops/acer-aspire-7720-review-49293331/specs/
Big gig on Saturday, can't f*ck up. Ideas and abuse all welcome. I'm northern.

Anyone get's me Bo Jo's mobile wins a begrudging northern acknowledgement. I want him to explain why he chose to wake me up and I want him to explain it now ! I will not rest you floppy haired cnut, what, just cause I is working class I don't get a lie in ?
I'm coming for you Boris.......

Nah, the truth is always useful. Someone just facebooked me their suspicions and you're right. Had me very confused for a while but it is just Luke Jerrams Sky Orchestra.
And in a lovely way my confusion is now being replaced with anger, 5 hours fucking sleep I had last night Luke you cockjammer. Oh, if only I was able to get a mobile number for you and post it othe the internetz.

1. Woops.....
   

Ever woken up and thought "Aww no ! I'm dead !" ????
Bang on 6 am this morning in Lewisham and my deep sleep is poleaxed by this really loud ambient string music echoing all around the house.It's not my phone, nor the tv, check it's not the girls putting "Now that's what I call woozy" on my cd. And it's just getting louder and louder.

So I stick my head out of the bathroom window and the whole of the garden is awash with this swelling dawn chorus. Go to the top of the house and it's even louder. Front garden, kitchen you name it it's like being in god's own headphones. Right, I'm dead. Peacefully in my sleep and my previously imoveable position on the likelyhood of an afterlife is going to get a good kicking. It's SO LOUD, and SO EVERYWHERE.

Fuck this then, I'm going to face death head on, in me dressing gown so out in the garden I go. And hovering, silently above my trees, nearly brushing them are two proper old school like a child would draw hot air balloons.

Playing bloody womb music !!!! In Hither Green, at six O'fucking clock !!!!
I swear one of them must've come down on Lee High road it was that low, I was gonna give chase but thought putting on the telly to check it wasn't 9000 years in the future and this is how we are now woken up every day for our shift at the rice pudding mine was more important.

Seriously though.........?????

i wish i knew about surfing.

I'd start with upper case letter use and punctuation if I was you.
Honestly, you will look back on when you were like this and wince. Nothing to do with your opinions on the deceased. It's just the way you write, it's embarrassing to read.
There really is no point spewing forth stream of consciousness student bunkum if you can't get the basics correct. No point at all.

It's like ruining a nice frame with an arrospok AND ignoring it's need for a tyre. Oh no, you didn't did you ?

i am sorry. perhaps im being a 'tad' OTT......but if i am to give you my reasoning:

Amy Winehouse dies.
fair enough. we all die.

in her case it was drugs. fair enough. i mean, she cained the shit out of them. if i was to die playing music or drinking coffee, eating fried eggs or riding my bike even, then thats a pretty amazing way to go. you'd think "at least he died doing the things he did". after all - we are what we continuously do. But, in her case, what she continuously did was a bit fucking skanky, right?

Amy Winehouse. sad, perhaps. but then, who really, apart from her friends/family can muster up real tears and sincere sadness? not some average fucking joe on twitter. Sincerity doesn't do twitter.

so, dead drugged up singer. end of. she's canonised. she's immortal. well done.

but no. he comes the aching shrieks of people mourning her apparent undeniable talent. and here is where i draw the line.

1. She sang - pretty fucking normally. she had a tone. correct. but it was one tone. a singular. hardly expressive and music is, of course, all about expression. personally, i thought that the single tone she had sounded like a Tesco plastic bag full of Sarsons table vinegar. But thats my opinion, right?
   She was binary toned. she sang. she stopped singing. that was it.

2. Her lyrics were bullshit. There's no argument there - they fucking were. Childish and immature. Unpoetic and uninspiring. well, uninspiring to adults anyway. perhaps if you love Skins you be touched by some faux-meaning in her crowbarred/thunderous subtly. To bring up my Joni Mitchell thought from earlier. Here is one woman who was in everyday more powerful in her message/abilities/output. Savage when she wanted to be. Honest and FUCKING EXPERIENCED. She did more for female empowerment than anything amy/jessie j/adele/vagina monologues/Sex In The City etc etc etc can ever do. She was dexterous - subtle, diverse and infinitely more dynamic; physically and metaphorically. She had meaning and motive. She had consideration and understanding. She had no ulterior motive - there was no Heat magazine to aim for - no Jools Holland show to go on - no T4-on-the-fucking-beach-Tesco-Chartshow-Sponsored-by-MataFUCKINGlan to aspire to. And, AND, like someone mentioned earlier - "she actually wrote and played her own music".
   Which i consider a moot point anyway. i don't think i need to explain why.

So, a singer who can sing. but is no way special. A lyricist that cant write lyrics/meaning/message for shit.

Sounds like a shit 'artist', no?

But then people say how this 'enigma' is incredible and will be missed. Her God like talents etc etc - comparing her to Billie Holiday etc. It's just totally insulting.

Keep your ill informed, ill considered, 2nd hand Cowell, armchair opinion quiet.

I know your music. I know it well. i hear it. everyday. i know the origin of your opinion. the origin of your quip, your jibe, your musical thought for the day. i know all your 'artists'. all your damn 'anthems'. The song you cry to, the song you shit to, the song you want at your funeral and i fucking cry.
I know your music. but i also know mine. I know the shit you don't. i listen. i do my 'research'. i listen to the music that exists in the world. past and present. i know it all - and i still hardly know any of it. im still learning from it. im still being moved. im being challenged. im feel equally distraught, alienated, unified, humiliated, understood, irrelevant, euphoric, expressive, expressed, pathetic, encouraged etc etc et-fucking-cetera.

And I know you don't know any of this, because if you did - if you had any fucking clue of what was out there to listen to - to REALLY listen to, you'd not give any kind of a fuck for Amy Winehouse.

A man eats white bread all his life and preaches to a chef, "you should try brown bread - it's the most amazing food ever"

And to sum up the Fountainhead thing. I'm so surprised you can read such an incredible book and still lap up this shit........

I haven't got enough time in my life to listen to all the music i want - watch the the films i want - read all the books i want - understand all the cultures i want. My list isn't just what i want, its what i should take in. i owe it to myself as a reasonable human being. As a considered human being. As someone who tries - very fucking hard - to transcend all of the bullshit peddled around me everyday.

But i have to suck it all up because everyone around is feltching this bullshit and spitting it in my fucking direction. And TELLING ME i haven't got a clue.

We make time capsules to preserve for 'whoever - whenever' an image of human life. Of our achievements. our true enlightened achievements. but, they are not 'peoples' achievements - they are the achievements by a select few. by those individuals who were above and beyond. While the rest of the world was 2-girl-1-cup-ping this Amy Winehouse tragedy a few people were thinking - "fuck these children smearing shit on the walls and calling it art. Calling it communication. Calling it important".

I may not be any more than anyone else - but at least i'm trying. at least i'm saying "fuck these children....."

But i know nothing. here i am. alienated.

god bless amy winehouse.

Holy crap ! Do people like this REALLY exist? I mean.Really.Exist. Or is my existance, just, a, charade. Am i, in my alienation and book shelf, just, a self absorbed punctuation abuser. Like a tattoo of Gary Glitter, you really will regret this when you get a bit older you know. Just, say, in.

Printing is not my thing so need to know if there is anywhere someone would recomend in London to get a small amount of text besed A3 posters printed. No more than 2 colours plus black on white paper and need in the region of 35-50.
Kube in Southwark seem very high end and want over £70, quality is not super crucial as in the main they will only ever be displayed for 5 hours. I will keep some for framing and home display so they can't be shit but as long as the stand up to casual glances I'll be happy.

Triple safeness, and in a proper 'authentic' location ! And yes I really am a lazy cockbag.....

Quick denim alteration question. Whenever I've had jeans shortened it's always been a crap finish that looks just like me mum did it at home. Now I've two perfectly lovely pairs of mid 90's jeans (Evisu/Levis) languishing in a cupboard because they are just so baggy, I mean MASSIVE. Both could do with taking up and more importantly a whole leg taper to make them wearable. No hipster skinnyness, just a straight leg cut. But who in London can do this properly ? Online results bring up The Denim Doctor but he's in Manchester, the description of what they'd do and the attention to detail seems bang on, I just need someone in the smoke who does this properly.
Ideas ?

Gave in, got these. It's a wedding, I'm the groom and figured all the boys will be in tan so standing out and all that...........
Please be gentle. (That's a joke for the record.)
http://www.grenson.co.uk/shop/stanley-1138

Considering a small 5 minute performance/skit at a South London wedding in late July. I'm not totally sold on my own idea yet but it would require 4-5 dancers performing on a stage in a proper bona fide victorian music hall.
Just looking to explore the concept at the moment so if you fancy talking it through pm me.

is it going to be a gypsy wedding perchance?

Yes ! I'm also sporting a piss stained vest and a sticky film of spilt Stella.
No, I just don't much care for "It's a wedding so you must look like this, eat that, go on honeymoon to here, live a hollow desperate life in an awful house with a Nintendo Wii, Pizza hut on speed dial and some tropical fish, dreaming of a DFS reclining sofa."

Not having a stag do neither, god I can't think of anything worse. No when I get married I stick it to THE MAN, in mis-matched clothes and ubiquitous brogues.
Anyway ladies and gents, as you were. Back to shoes............

what colour shirt and tie?

White collarless shirt, so no tie. Choice of tan is so they can be worn on and off for years to come so although lovely, those blacks are out of the question. I'm keen on, alright OBSESSED with, my outfit having a practical longevity paired with other bits as time goes by.
There's a chance I may go for a grey trouser paler than the non matching jacket, in this case tan brogues will be super fine. In addition, and all feel free to wet yourselves in horror or joy, I'm replacing the top button of the shirt and the shoe laces to matching colours. Probs a nice mint green, tie the top of the ensemble to the bottom so to speak. A risk yes but I first rode my Olmo fixed as a single speed with only one front break, wait no that didn't work and nearly killed me.
Oops!
Either way, come the first reveal I shall post a snap of the Grensons and whatever they end up going to the ball with.

Rules. I hate rules and rarely follow them. But am I chancing too much by partnering these tan beauties with black trousers ? It's for a wedding where I'm the groom. Dark grey jacket/black shawl lapel, black trousers and the Grensons.The whole world and his wife say no but what does a cycling forum think ?
http://www.grenson.co.uk/stanley-287

Sold to Jamestz.