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If only I'd known...

(Incidentally, does anyone know if they've found a cure for heterosexuality yet?)

Hang around in pubs with men dressed in head to toe lycra getting massively drunk, anything could happen............

Yeah, let's get some key stuff down for posterity (the bridge is particularly poignant)...

"I Should Be So Lucky"

[1a:]
In my imagination
There is no complication
I dream about you all the time
In my mind a celebration
The sweetest of sensation
Thinking you could be mine

[1b:]
In my imagination
There is no hesitation
We walk together hand in hand
I'm dreaming
You fell in love with me
Like I'm in love with you
But dreaming's all I do
If only they'd come true

[CHORUS:]
I should be so lucky
Lucky lucky lucky
I should be so lucky in love
I should be so lucky
Lucky lucky lucky
I should be so lucky in love

[2a:]
It's a crazy situation
You always keep me waiting
Because its only make believe
And I would come a-running
To give you all my loving
If one day you would notice me

[2b:]
My heart is close to breaking
And I can't go on faking
The fantasy that you'll be mine
I'm dreaming
That you're in love with me
Like I'm in love with you
But dreaming's all I do
If only they'd come true

[CHORUS:]

[BRIDGE:]
I should be so lucky (so lucky, so lucky)
I should be so lucky
I, I, (I, I)
I should be so lucky (so lucky, so lucky)
I should be so lucky
I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I

[1b:]

[CHORUS:]
[repeat & fade]

Bloody hell that was nearly as bad as my post? What's going on here?

Sarcasm detector fail (on my part). Are you for or against thread derailment? :P

I'm in the bath Hippy. Thinking of you.

For then, I'm guessing?

Speaking of gear ratios, I was on a cyclecross web site and found this dude who's bike is running two chain rings up front and 8 sprockets in the back, but both the chain rings are the same size as are all 8 of the sprockets.

Worlds weirdest single speed?

Huh? but why? spread out the wear so you have to change sprockets 8 times less?

:)

I didn't realize he was such a cnut. I should watch more telly

His mates are pretty much knobs too, how I laughed when the little one crashed at 350 odd mph.

Dude, I would love to do that kind of stuff, but I unfortunitly chose a career as a cycle courier, not a police officer. But I'm still young (ish). I can change.

Good god no! Not the filth, you could be so much more...

..all the way from America, far too expensive.

I forgot I even asked about these, probably going for H+S's now anyway, bugger import tax and all that malarkey.

Don't be talkin bout ma momma now bwoy

i'm old. i'm an old pussy. cut me some slack!

Step aside old timer, you don't want to get hurt now, two internet tough guys are talking shit on a forum here, shit could go down at ANY moment

Pride unacceptable. Don't make me glass you.

Pussy, real hardnuts don't use weapons.....

Don't make me rip your heart out with my teeth

i'm getting the fear just thinking about that shit

HTFU

My first one, I feel so proud

MINDSET: when yr riding hard (especially for us guys) your concentration level is hyped up and so are yr testosterone levels. in my experience that equals aggressive mindset. i think defensive riding is about a kind of relaxed awareness of all of the insights listed above and enjoy the experience y'all!! what happened to that pint...

All aided by Mr. T.H.C.

That's because you should type: 'HGVs' for the plural.

I wrote the post in full caps lock mode which negated that option but I think VB has sensibly put a caps filter on so we don't end up with a multitude of shouty shouty posts .

look agressive, have a mowhawk and act like a cunt, and people tend to avoid you

I still think there should be legislation allowing cyclists to be allowed to ride around with a sawn off shotgun brandished in full view, should even the playing field a little.

If you haven't already, go and do a motorcycle CBT course. Better still a proper riding course. If there's one thing they drum into you on those, it's road sense. you'll also learn about the physics of bike riding.

Also, buy and devour motorcycle roadcraft - the police riders training manual. Everything in there is gold dust, and applies pretty much equally to pedal bikes as motorbikes.

Don't ride in the gutter, anticipate everything and never assume you've been seen. Know how fast you can accelerate and stop. Never start a move unless you know for a fact that you can finish it safely. Overtaking, for example is not a percentage game. If you're not sure you can overtake safely, don't. Don't ride in the kerb. Typically drivers give you as much room as you give yourself, so take room. Never be pressured into a manoeuvre by another road user - if you can pull in safely to let someone pass, then fine, but if not, keep him behind you.

Observe everything. Ride along giving yourself a commentary on what's going on on the road - e.g. That pedestrian has a iPod and a guide book - they are going to step out into the road. That truck is pulling out to the right - he may be turning left. The car there is very slow and erratic - he's either lost or looking for a road, so he may change direction very suddenly. That cab is empty - He's probably looking for a fare rather than at the road, and chances are he may dart to the kerb or do a U-Turn if he spots one. One of the beauties about riding fixed is that you don't need to waste brain power remembering how to make the bike work - what gear you're in, whether the suspension is locked out, any of that crap - so you have more mental resources available to the ride.

Use all the information provided by other road users, and road signs and markings as early as practical. Don't wait until the last minute to pass parked cars or move over to the right for a right-turn. Ignore cycle lanes if they do not help you - If you see a motorcycle over to the left, with his left indicator on, he's turning left and physics mean that space inside him won't be there soon, so pass him on the right, wherever the bloody cycle lane is. If that cab has an orange light on, watch out for sudden moves, but equally use them if they are going to be convenient for you. If you know the bus routes you can also anticipate when a bus is going to pull over 2 or 3 lanes of traffic for a right turn from the bus stop, rather than continuing ahead in the left lane.

Always look over your shoulder before any change of direction. Don't assume you can hear the traffic behind as well as the traffic in front. Use your road positioning and body language to give other road users as much of a clue as possible as to your intentions - e.g. angling the bike towards a turn when stopped at a junction. If you need to bust past the traffic lights to stay safe or to position for a right turn, then fair enough, but do not put yourself in danger by barrelling through them unless you know for certain that it is clear. And always give pedestrians the right of way. If someone is crossing, then stop. Finally indicate clearly if you or another road user will benefit from it, but don't bother if no-one will benefit - concentrate on your ride.

Copied, pasted and saved in Notepad ;) these are all the things I try and remember to tell people but always forget some. NIce succint list.

Never ever ever ever fuck with hgv's

I know, grammer fail, but there always ends up the inevitable confusion of "Whats an HGVS?"

Never ever ever ever fuck with hgv's

Ok, for you Will I'll start bumping up those curbs, where shall I send the bill for those pinch flats? And can I have your no. so that when I get one in the pissing rain you can kindly come and fit the new inner tube for me so I don't get my liitle hands dirty. Thanks :p

Sorry I speed read and thought you were just posting poetry, I didn't fully realise the content of the actual poems. Apologies I assume most things in Misc. & Meaningless are just random fun stuff, and assumption is the mother of all fuck ups as I also found out earlier today.

Ignore me.

you got one meant for the southern hemisphere.

:)

I was walking along and saw the little girl looking at me, I smiled at her and she looked curious, I carried on walking and heard her pipe up with that gem from behind me, it really baffled me for 10 minutes. She had a point though, I scared myself a bit in the mirror

I'm not stupid.

I am, knocked off at 6.15, really I was as wet as I could possibly get by 11 so it didn't really matter. A kid asked her mum if I was a demon which really dumbfounded me til I caught myself in a lift mirror, totally bloodshot eyes from all the rain getting in them and my eyes are quite a pale blue green, it was quite a shocking sight!

.....or so I'm told