Search results for:

^or when there is half an inch of snow.

...I hate fucking assholes...

Tried lube? Or just doing the front bum instead?

I'm banned from London's public transport for 'frequent and profound anal delinquency' and I can't afford a petrol wagon.

Slowly but surely getting to meet you all one at a time (usually waiting for my Guinness at the bar). Good night, ta - although some crazy bastard in the toilet took a *really *strong dislike to me.

[into his phone] "I've got two australian's in ere finking i'm a fackin poofta, Chris." (I'm english btw)

[outside having a smoke] "I fackin ate these bike australian peep-al. they don't givva shit about reds. i'll laff at their fack-in fewn-ral."

Nice.

Ha. I've asked my mother if she will transfer from the video to the computer and mail it up to me. But I should warn you, I'm basically a registered weapon, and you shouldn't try and copy any of my moves.

p.s. if that Monkey story is true, Matt, then that's simply incredible.

okay, if that's true, it's a pretty good story.

^is that a magic eye picture?

There's a guy who rides down the river with me on my commute from West Ken, and I swear to you he's more than 7ft tall. His bike looks homemade and is a big as a flippin' horse. It's quite something to behold. He also cycles at around a 100mph without breaking a sweat. I have never managed to keep up with him.

A wise man once said, "use his haircut against him."

I have that tattooed on my ball sack.

I also did judo as a kid though I reckon I would've hugged you to death.I won a trophy at it and can still hug with the best of 'em.

I'm going to have to get this video up on youtube to prove that I could out hug any foolz, innit.

I found that the people that tended to win the most where the smelly people, and the losers where just left gasping for clean air.

Which reminds me: there's a clip somewhere on the internet of a Judo 'fight' and one guy poos himself but carries on hugging until the bitter (bitter) end.

er...back to bikes.

EDIT: If you were having a go at me, meet behind the bike shed after class and we can sort it out like proper men.

Can we invent a Fixed Judo league? You sort of ride around cuddling until someone falls unconscious.

Not sure from the first bit if you are having a go at me or not. I don't consider myself a hardman but feel i am able to look after myself pretty well in tough situations.

That said, the laughter wasn't composure it was more bewilderment.

EDIT: If you were having a go at me, meet behind the bike shed after class and we can sort it out like proper men.

No, I'm jealous. Also, I don't ever have a go at people on here. I just wish I was 6'6" is all.

--

You know, if we took every single nightmare story that's ever been told about the crazy things that happen to us when we cycle and put them in a big book (with pictures of mental people) we'd have a nightmare anthology that would sell bah-zillions. My favourite threads are these ones where people recount London's oddities.

I got to green belt in Judo when I was about 13. I thought I was so tough even though most people mistook me for a short-haired girl/hermaphrodite. My dad still likes to show everyone the film he took of me during a 'competitive fight' once. It's a cinematic classic: around 45 minutes of me and another boy just hugging one another like we're trying to make love without penetration/any understanding of human biology.

My dad cries tears of laughter and disgust simultaneously.

I wish I was 6'6". I'd be all like, "stomp, stomp little people. Move out of my way." That would be so much cooler.

Ahem.

I also wish I was able to laugh at him like you did. That, my friend, is composure. I'd have ended up doing some judo with him in the middle of the road (rolling around, cuddling aggressively) as cars try to drive around us.

Is it true aussies call swimming trunks 'budgie smugglers'?

Fooking hoo-rah, that's funny.

Hey.

I said thanks in the compass thread, but I'd like to thanks here too: er..thanks. It was very cool to drag new people out and treat them so nice. I'll be coming along again, so hopefully get to meet some more of you.

Cheers,

Dave
(blue jersey, hippy hat thing)

Quick thanks for getting us out to the drinks last night. Everyone was genuinely friendly and interesting and you'll be seeing me again soon.

Cheers,

Dave
(blue jersey, hippy hat)

Also: Anyone lurking around, unsure whether to come along or not; just turn up. People really are pretty cool.

I'm still in. Should be there by 6:45.

Cheers,

Dave

Monday - Souths @ The Coach and Horses
old timer(s): andyp, SPAGHOOPS, eyebrows, clefty, gizmond
newbies: JOHNNY FITZ, wilda, d14vd_h

Tuesday - Norths @ The Flask (fingers crossed)
old timer(s): Spins, PinkGottiMobbs
newbies: fred, Slag, mmccarthy (hopefully), Matt, Van Damage, gizmond, Lolo

Tuesday - South Easts @ The Kings Arms
old timer(s): Dammit
newbies: tricitybendix (I can still be a newbie if I've already been once, right?), Gormley

Tuesday - Trixie Dix @ White's Row Car Park Roof. White's Row, Off Commercial Street
old timer(s):
newbies: JOHNNY FITZ, philjay (been a few times)

Wednesday - Easts @ The Royal Inn on the Park
old timer(s): Van Damage, kattt, gizmond, somebody
newbies: JIMALEX

Thursday - Wests @ The Crabtree or The Ship (season dependent)
old timer(s): Aroogah / Fred / mmccarthy (must I be an old timer? =P)
newbies: kattt, gizmond (been once), Donut (NOT Duncan)

Should be able to make it, and I've been on this stinkin forum for quite a while now...just depends on my working hours.

I read the starter of this thread yesterday, gulped, and hoped she would be okay. I mentioned the accident to a friend of mine and we talked about the dangers of London, and the horribly close calls we've had over the years. I was so, so shocked to when Velcro told us the news. It's genuinely really jolted me.

Velcro, I don't know you, but seriously, I hope you can take something away from the fact that so many people on here clearly care a lot - most it seems without even knowing you well or at all. It's not much, but its something. All the best, mate.

Ride safe everyone (that phrase never felt so important)

If you're thinking about going out but not sure how much of a pussy you are, just get on your bike and try it. It's really,* really* good fun so long as you have waterproof shoes. I just did 8 miles and there is nothing like skidding in deep snow. And hardly any traffic...bliss.

Maybe it was the constant threat of slipping off and breaking my face that made it so much fun.

Q1: Do you have fliers in your spokes? (y/n)
no i flippin' well don't.

**Q2: Which of the following do you do on your fixed-gear bike **(indicate all that apply):

Communte and get from A to B.

**Q3: Do you ever use a mudguard on your fixed gear bike? **(y/n)
Nope. Should do though, cuz I constantly look like I've shit myself.

Q4: How do you feel a mudguard affects the aesthetics of fixed gear bikes in general?

• Disrupts/spoils/makes worse.
  
  

Q5: If you get a nipple in your pork scratchings, is this lucky or unlucky?

• No change to fortune
  
  

(I'm vegan)

I think there should be a LFGSS sitcom on the tele.

I tuck everything in need in my extra saggy ball sack.

i have no problems skidding on gatorskins..... you lot are obviously pussies.

They're sticky as shit, but they do get more skid friendly after a while. Still, I need to stop skidding because my knee is going to explode pretty soon...