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Asking the fire brigade is free - that's how my sister got hers sorted. Just nip into a station and be all smiles. If they can help, they'll help.

£500 for the first person to catch her. I want her head as a wall trophy.

If she meets rollerskating monkey mask man it could kick right off.

This makes me wonder if there are actually cycling superheros fighting on our streets. The Banshee vs The Masked Monkey.

I googled it:

Balls.

Can someone please film her? She sounds amazing.

Hot parmesan smells worse than cat poo.

I only race cars.

Weird thing about my green banana is that it was completey straight. Perhaps it wasn't even a banana. Still, cured my Guinness Hangover.

I had a green banana for my breakfast. Crunchy.

We have the power to change the world.

Perhaps we should start a political party and campaign for all pub vegan burgers to be 2 for 1?

fixed.

noah way?!

I'm glad you didn't, Mr Smith; that would've made too many people cross.

The comedy in this thread is papal-able now you've started a pun-off.

God. I just got the giggles really bad for that. Like, had to get up and laugh in the toilet bad.

mike, don't take this the wrong way, but that is the shittest driving anecdote I have ever heard.

Ha ha. I was gonna say that, but I didn't want to upset anyone. It's now turned into the BEST driving anecdote I've ever heard.

I want to roll a condom over his face and talk dirty to him until he admits he likes the weird feeling he'll be getting in Special Place/Forbidden Zone.

He should have dialled 99 at the time.

That wouldn't help much.

For the record: There are two Donuts on this forum. I am David and have no exclamation mark after my forum name - the other Donut, Duncan, does(!).

That is all.

p.s. I got my name on here before Duncan did, the cheeky swine.

see the patronising twat thread, got roundly attacked for using "nodder"

That's not totally true! I said I liked the term nodder, just not with the word cunt used before or after it!

Peace, brother.

Is that a fennel root?

This should defo end up in a local paper, unless too much time has passed. It's vile. If it burned his skin then he should take pictures. What the fuck is up with people?

But also, I have no idea why you're asking for advice on what to do. It's pretty obvious, duh. It's not even a cycling issue.

If only it was in the dictionary. Someone do a wikipedia entry.

I call him my 'Uncle John.'