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I eat my porridge with finest hand rolled oats and organic milk, finish it off with Guernsey double cream, 16 yr old dark rum, muscavado, a sprinkle of pedro Ximenez reduction and a handful of muscat raisins

water! fuuuking peasants

I thought it was a reference to that the time it took to grow that bush on her head.

It's amazing!

Still she will go no further once she gets arrested for the theft of the contents of Boney Ms wardrobe.. thats a proper crime

baby spinach! Laaady fucking da!

get waitrose boy in the cheap food thread

HA HA proper magic!

Tried to make macarons last night.

Second attempt - pretty good actually - using a hand whisk and beating like a madman. Then I added the sugar before it had cooled and it just killed it.

the key step is the italian meringue - the boiling sugar cooks the egg whites, but you need air in the egg whites so beat them first. kitchen aids are the way to go here.

Third attempt (after a detour to buy more eggs) I got the stuff perfect even with the sugar, ready to add to the weird lumpy dry ingredients - poured it in, beating but not trying to add more air, then I poured in the melted chocolate. Which I hadn't let cool down. Killed it.

Your sugar wasn't hot enough again, mixing it in wont beat out the air. neither will adding chocolate.

PH recipes tend to give a wetter mix (he uses a lot of un-whipped egg whites) but they rise in the oven

look at the difference between these two:

The first is with a stiff mix which holds it's shape, the second a wetter mix that rises giving a shallow dome and skirt under it.
The second is a lighter airier macaroon and doesn't taste as sweet as the first

When i did his method it took me 5 attempts to get it right - this included changing the oven settings (i'd make one batch split it across three trays and cook at different temps)

I had to set my oven 10Degs higher and use the middle rack. but they were astounding.. best i have tasted and worth the work

I have another recipe that is more stable than Hermes, the second best i have -

200g Caster
50g water
(bring to 120)

140g egg whites
Whip for 5 mins then add boiled syrup

200g Icing Sugar
200g ground Almonds

Mix into the italian meringue and pipe.

leave for 30 mins for the skin and cook at 180 for 8 to 12 mins (the bottoms should just come away from the greaseproof)

no, not mine although it wasn't even requested. They only knew because I had ranted to them over the phone prior to the visit about moving our booking as it was mrs_com's bday.

If I try anything like that it would look like a dirty protest.

Mmmmm maybe my son was trying to write "Happy birthday" all over the chest of drawers, bedroom carpet, left leg and his face.

i mis-underestimated him

Butternut squash gnocchi.

Throw in some sage, Parmesan and ground almonds and you would be in business..

best gnocchi i do is baked potatoes - riced, then into the mixer with a K beater and add egg, flour, salt and a flavour. till it comes from the sides, then wrap it in cling film and steam it till it bounces back.

then slice it into shapes and either fry it in butter OR warm it up in some lovely juices

No he hasn't. His abilities just look average now that he's surrounded by world class players.

do keep up dear. he is at Citeh now

they blend in pretty well, its only when they open their mouths and bray loudly about themselves...
Mmm must have been the croydn end of the line..

Chances are the boy will grow up in a mixed society and be embarrassed at his mothers views

She is bang on about the poles though... fucking everywhere

Nasri has turned to shit...

HA!

as toothless as City looked they got the point.

even when they are not firing they have a world class act between the sticks and a pretty tasty back 4. that was the first thing mankini did up there.. it's the only reason i can see them picking up something this year.

lambs have breasts?

** gets cock out*

That your work Steve?

the chocolate writing is a thing of beauty.. very well done

if at any stage it doesn't look right, stop it and start that stage again. saves time and ingedients.

Tried to make macarons last night.

Unmitigated disaster.

Used this recipe:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/recipes/7473264/Pierre-Hermes-macaron-au-chocolat-amer.html

Stupidly took screenshots of my laptop on my phone and spread the recipe across several different overlapping images so my timing was shit.

Got the dry ingredients right, at least.

Then added half the egg whites and the carmine to it - which seemed strange if I'm honest.

Then my first attempt at the second batch of egg whites with the sugar went disastrously wrong. I tried to use a blender (like a hand whisk with the chopping attachment - don't ask.) Unsurprisingly that didn't work.

Second attempt - pretty good actually - using a hand whisk and beating like a madman. Then I added the sugar before it had cooled and it just killed it.

Third attempt (after a detour to buy more eggs) I got the stuff perfect even with the sugar, ready to add to the weird lumpy dry ingredients - poured it in, beating but not trying to add more air, then I poured in the melted chocolate. Which I hadn't let cool down. Killed it.

I was too exhausted for a fourth attempt so I thought I'd try and get some life into it and then pipe 2 dozen onto a baking tray. The fact that I had to support the piping bag on the side so it didn't just dribble out was a bit of a give away that there wasn't going to be a rise in Casa del CYOA that night.

Still, I persevered - whacked it in a hot oven for 12 minutes, opening twice to let (non-existent) steam escape.

Due to my Excellent Liquid Piping Skillz™ I had made pretty decent round puddles and when I took them out - that's exactly how they'd remained - pretty decent round puddles. They were hard and crunchy - albeit very tasty. They were just wafer thin.

I think I'll invest in a thermometer.

Had about a quart of Johnnie Walker and went to bed in a sulk wondering what the fuck I'm going to do with two dozen egg yolks.

There are 36 steps to make macaroons, you get one slightly wrong and game over.

You need a sugar thermometer OR a good eye, you can see the stages of syrup by the way it moves, when it starts to come away from the sides of the pan/flow like lava and the steam turns a touch blue.. then put a bit in cold water and roll it between your fingers. it should give you a soft ball. this is about 120 degs C

Make a custard with the egg yolks - good base for ice cream etc etc

For years I used to buy and keep programmes from every game I went to and, if I missed a home game, would get a friend to buy me a programme. I rarely read them; there was little to read in them. When the internet arrived and more information was vailable, I started to wonder why I bought programmes so religiously and then I remembered.

Back in the day, before most of you were born, Chelsea programmes used to have a small token on the back page by the team sheet. It said "Keep this Token, it could entitle you to a FA Cup Final ticket."

In the days before computers when most of us paid on the gate, these tokens were the only way of assessing loyalty.

Sadly, in those days, we never got to cash in our tokens. The Full Members Cup finals didn't require them and we never managed to get into a real cup final. Not after the early 1970s until 1994.

With this realisation, I stopped buying programmes. I still maintain the optimism that lead me to buy them for all those years and so still ensure that I have my loyalty points.

I have a spare for tomorrow. Anyone want to join me?

your lot still operate on a points system? we only get points for an away game, you need 35 to get tickets to london Derbys and small grounds now a days. Cup games count for nothing, but we get 7 free with our season ticket. this year it doesn't include the carling but the ticket prices are down to a tenner.

the City game is sold out - this season is the first time we have dropped to 50,000. the announcer didn't call it out on the game. still not bad but it used to never drop below 58k.. hard times

Which reminds me - if you lot need gifts for your better halves for Christmas then send me a PM and I'll sort you out.

I am getting her a sewing box and an apron.. I'll be kept in the manner i am accustomed to if it kills her

lies.. the handbags are more your thing

Clearly "choked" by the death of his dear friend then. Or maybe the cash made it easier to stomach.

It's his job, he is does that slot on the radio every week at the same time.
They had to cut away from him at least 3 times when i was listening as he couldn't go on. Poor bloke was cut up and shared some great tales about his good friend. good on him

RIP Gary

sad times, what a great man, honestly never came across a person who didn't like him

Listening to 5 Live with Robbie, heart breaking. Poor Savage was fighting tears the whole time. Lets hope his decency as a man and professionalism as a player rubs off on some of the next generation. would make football a better sport and this thread a lot less spicy.

its a necessary evil.. my only way to watch football highlights

i noticed that.. Lenon went down like the tart he is and to be fair Spurs were dead lucky. Rio dived in and caught the player..

fk MOTD

i might not have minded so much had Felix not gotten me up at 5am, to be sure i didn't miss it!

Utd fans on 606 complaining about that pen decision!

Fuckoff! you got what you deserved

Evans is full of cock

ram packed