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Burn him...

Burn his face first.....

How did I miss this thread. I loved my beard although it was not particularly aerodynamic.

'Guiche'

pronounced 'Geesh'

The bit of flesh in between the fanny and the bum'ole

...the chinrest

Also known as the Humber Bridge......links the fishy bit to the shitty bit.

I know a Tiffany Bottomly. Her parents clearly weren't thinking.

Those blackadder sketches have reminded me of this for some reason:

YouTube - A Bit of Fry and Laurie - SAS - Library

Not a funny word as such, but a great name for any character. I don't know how they got away with it!

what about something being "graunchy"? for example when you know a b/b is just about dead but youre gonna run it til it siezes up then throw it away

Did you just make that up?

I like 'flange'

Don't we all?

They are fine words and always make me smirk but they lack the onomatopoeic joy of queef.

Been watching South Park recently?

I have not. It was brought to mt attention by a colleage. I've spent some of today trying to find funnier and don't think I can.

It can also be spelled *quife. *

...must be 'queef.'

(I've had some spare time on my hands today.)

Have I missed something?

Well, If Nazi cows didn't do it for you maybe this will:

"A workaday armed robbery at a Russian hairdressers turned into a three day sex ordeal for the would-be stickup merchant, leaving him with torn genitals and a viagra hangover."

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/04/21/russia_robbery/

Is now the time to mention I'm a sailor?

Galloping Gay Disco.....From Glasgow! Yep, that's right:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmKVMMy4CGE

Nazi cows rampage across the West Country:

http://uk.reuters.com/article/domesticNews/idUKTRE53L5UZ20090422

*'The shaggy, russet-coloured "Heck" cattle imported into Britain from The Netherlands by Derek Gow are the product of a Nazi-sponsored breeding programme....

The herd has Herman Goering, the head of Hitler's Luftwaffe, to thank for its existence.'

*

Isn't it sad/strange that an author as fantastic as JG Ballard can pass away without causing so much as a murmur yet Jordan's lips get more pages than he probably wrote in his entire life?

There's quite a good obituary here:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/04/20/jg_ballard_obituary/

Here's a light-hearted interlude: http://www.flickr.com/groups/620637@N22/pool/

...they could'nt find anyone who died so I got this message:

"That’s exactly half the life of somebody famous. In another 30 years and 256 days, you will have lived exactly as long as Arthur Lee. He was a singer and guitarist for the psychedelic rock band Love, one of the first interracial rock bands who died at the age of 61 years, 149 days of leukemia."

http://dead.atyourage.com/

Beginners Luck?

Nah mate.

Arse.

Beginners Luck?

i would politely tell the customer to come back when they've cleaned the shit off the tyre. that's fucking disgusting.

+1. What kind of person thinks it's okay to bring a bike in covered in shit?

If you're still going to go ahead with the repair, I'd charge a substantial amount for cleaning.

we charge a fiver more

A lot more than this.

Citroen Super-Car! I'm not sure if this is porn or not but my initial reaction is to like it:

More from the Geneva Motor Show here:

http://www.salon-auto.ch/en/index.php?navigId=42

I'm enjoying this one:

*Right, I bought this at the Tiffany store on Bond Street about 2 years ago for my then girlfriend.
She seemed so pleased with it that she just couldn't contain her excitement and a few days later she decided it would be a great idea to entertain another man in her hand. Yea, what a girl.

To cut a long story short words were said, there was a lot of vodka drunk, and I decided that maybe she didn't really deserve keeping the bracelet. I said she could keep it if she got it engraved with 'biggest jizzhand ever' on the back, but she declined the reasonable offer.

It doesn't have any visable scratches, and if you give it a tiny clean with some silver cleaning product you could pass it off as new. Same with the box. The bag is a tiny bit crumpled and has a small mark on it, it was like that when jizzhands gave it back to me.

So buy this and give it to your girlfriend, or maybe give it to someone else's girlfriend in the hope that this bracelet will turn them into a jizzhand in your favour. Not that i'm saying that this bracelet is cursed or anything. And if it is, buy it for someone you don't like! Keep your enemies close, and jizzhands closer.

I've put postage as £3, I doubt it'll be that much, so whatever isn't spent on postage i'll put back in the package cause I'm a nice guy like that. Recorded delivery to avoid disputes. Maybe the postperson will be hot, good luck for you.

Ermm i'm not really bothered with returns...I suppose if you're really unhappy with it i'll refund you and you can pay for the postage to send it back. I won't accept returns if it causes your girlfriend to be unfaithful.

I'll post it the day after payment. Paypal only please. Thanksssss.
Gilly. *

Aero bike. Check.

Aero bodysuit. Check.

Aero helmet. Check.

Massive beard. WTF!!!

oh yes!

he could maybe wax it into a more aerodynamic shape.........a nice point.

in other porsche related news, the 911GT2 is to get RS'd:

http://www.autoblog.com/2009/01/30/rumormill-porsche-working-on-580-hp-gt2-rs/