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good grief. I've not looked at this thread since you posted up the picture of your split elbow and have just read through it all. Clive, you poor bloke. I really hope you're over the worst and can get back to a normal life soon. Once you are, make sure you take Mrs O away for a nice weekend or something, I sounds as though that poor woman has seen some sights. She signed up for richer, for poorer but not for erupting buttocks!
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Ed, what is that green bike? Looks beautiful.