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Can't beat a Joe Blow
Toodle pip

Use straight bars and bar ends. That way you dent cabbie and ride off waving at him/her/it.

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Er...... Does SPD mean anything to you guys?

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Call me a mechanical imbercile (some do, some don't) but I can't work out how the bloody thing works. It looks like the BB cups screw in as normal and leave you with those two big brown doofers.
Can anyone enlighten me?

Toodle pip

I had a reputation once. Found it to be a bit of a hazard so I sold it to a one eyed man from Brazil. Apparently its still going strong in a salsa bar in Rio.

Can I have a purple star please.

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Birthday???

I thought she was dead.
Or is that treason?

Toodle pip.

White Industries do a range of eccentric hubs that turn any frame into a SS or fixie.

They do them in disc or "normal" in all hub sizes.

A bit dear but I've had one for 2 years and use it daily with no problems.

A very very nice bit of kit.

http://www.whiteind.com/rearhubs/singlespeedhubs.html

Toodle pip

To be honest I couldn't blame them.

I wouldn't like the look of me.

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Ah, but what a society we could build:

Free, honest, equal, and above all fixied.

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chris crash being drunk on a bike is illegal, it is not an arrest able offense, but police now have the power to arrest people for non-arrest able offenses (go figure) this requires more paper work so they must have made it worth it to the cops some how. as far as i know there is no blood alcohol level limit for riding a bicycle, just if the police can make a case that their ability to ride was impaired. either way bail your mates out and they will have to go to court.

Police have had the power to arrest for non arrestable offences since the admission into law of the Police and Criminal Evidence Act 1984.

what most people don't realise is that there have been numerous acts of parliment passed in the last 10 years that remove or restrict your freedoms. Worse is that some of these acts allow a home secretary to define an act, article, or organisation illegal without a vote in the house.
Try looking up:
Criminal Justice and Police Act 2003
Violent Crime Reduction Bill 2006

If the home secretary decides that fixies are "dangerous" then he can ban them at a stroke: An we all get arrested.

Anyone for a bit of anarchy?

toodle pip

MrSmith i find that if you don't break the law the police tend to leave you alone.

Tend to is not an absoulute.

I have been stopped and searched for no other reason then "you were pedaling in a suspicious manner".

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If I talk to "God" I am devout.

If he talks back I am Schizophrenic.

Who needs an imaginary best friend to blame life on?

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RPM [quote]markrjohnson Suffice it to say:

I was doing something I shouldn't, with people you would not invite home to see mummy, in a place I didn't have any legitimate reason to be, but all for a good cause.

he was an undercover police rozzer for the coppers[/quote]

No, I was delivering pizza in Streatham.

Toodle pip

I would remind you all, "they" are really watching you.

All of you.

Right now.

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TheBrick(Tommy) Lets get some stickers made with something along the lines of

"Ron Hubbard raped my Hamster"

That's what sellotape was invented for.

"Pass the sellotape, this ones split".

Toodle pip

Sanity is an illusion created by our alien masters to pander to the base human instinct for stability.
It allows us to integrate the real with the patently unreal.

I mean no one actually believes politicians are from this planet.................. do they?

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Suffice it to say:

I was doing something I shouldn't, with people you would not invite home to see mummy, in a place I didn't have any legitimate reason to be, but all for a good cause.

And the mutt's job was to try and stop us.

Toodle pip

Just out of academic interest I did one of their tests at the office in Tott. Ct rd.

When it finished they worked out the results and suddenly appered to become nervous.

They backed away from me and seemed to be looking for objects that could be used as weapons.

I was asked to leave.

Apparently my profile was somewhere around psychotic/sociopathic/ dangerous to freaky religous cults.

So i got beck on my SS and pedaled off, happy to be judged a danger to mankind.

Toodle pip.

chris crash @markj

all veganness aside, there is no way i would have the balls to do that

You would be amazed at what blind fear can make you do.

It was the pooch or me.

Toodle pip.

See here:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/6295164.stm

And here:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/7297971.stm

Paranoia is healthy.

Toodle pip

Pop along to your loc\l magistrates court and tell the very nice person at the help desk that you want to raise a summons for:

S3 Road Traffic Act 1991: Driving without due care and attention.
S25 RTA 91: Failing to stop ( and exchange details) following an RTA.

It will cost you around £30 you will have to stand up in front of a bench of crusty old gits and tell them exactly what happened.
If they are satisfied an offence has been committed they will issue a summons. Post it to the twat in the BM by recorded delivery and wait.

If he replys then you may be granted a hearing. In which case turn up at court an hour earky on the set date with witnesses evidence etc and ask to talk to the duty solicitor. He/she will then do the talking for you and you becomevictim/complainant.

If you really want to screw the git. At the same time take out a county court action (basically the same method, but at your local county court) for damages, loss of earnings etc. Have evidence, say your bit and if satisfied they will issue a CCJ. He has 2 weeks to enter a defence or you win by default.Then the balifs are sent in to collect if he doesn't pay.

Before doing this talk to your local citizens advice about any local paperwork difference.

Toodle pip

If unavoidable the following works quite well. It does, however, require balls and the acceptance of a certain amount of pain/damage.
It is a "cornered only" strategy which I have used, and although I ended up with a bit of scarring, I won.

Remember: Pain just tells you you’re damaged. It rarely reduces functionality.

So: If possible remove shirt/top (in a hurry) and wrap around your weak arm.
As mutt attacks feed it this tempting target, but as it bites force your forearm as far back in its jaws as you possibly can.

The canine (pointy) teeth are all at the front, also the neared you can get to the mandibular hinge the less leverage the mutt's jaw muscles can exert.

This takes a fair degree of balls and will hurt but you now have control of a thrashing dog. Its instinct is to hang on and shake so it will not let go.
Now the juicy bit and you have to be quick.

Grasp the top of said mutts head with your other hand, the natural position should put your thumb near one of its eyes (which eye depends on whether your left or right handed) using all your strength, and cyclists have disproportional high grip strength, force the thumb into mutly's eye.

Do this with even a moderate degree of force and you will dislodge the eye, penetrate the rear of the optic cavity and disrupt penetrate the brain. Which in a dog is not very big.

If you’re squeamish use less force.

Either way the pooch will loose interest in you very very quickly.

I stress this is a last resort strategy which I have used and is highly effective.
You will get a bit chewed, but it will be on your terms rather then the mutt's.

Toodle pip.

Parker international do a silver and black KMC chain for about £5.
I use them for everyhinh, geared, SS, and fixed.

Toodle pip

My money is on headset cups.

And Flyer Boy in the 3.30 @ Chepstow.

Either that or someone has given you a bomb to deliver.

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I love a good back lash too.

Though I do prefer a little buttock whipping with birch twig.
Preferably from a stout woman named Helga.

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