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What is that big fat lump at the top/side of your head? Why is your brain hollow?

I agree, they're super narrow. I measured them with calipers once... But can't remember what the width was

Mega-bodge solutions that probably won't work:

• Get a fork bung and some canti-hanger-like part and fit them to the bottom of the steerer. Here's some inspiration for you - quite neat there actually.
  
  

• Drop some sort of rod from the steerer, stem or bars and attach it to that. Would be flimsy.
  
  

I imagine drilling the crown would result in a trip to the dentists for new teeth

Does it have to be that rack? You could get one that mounts to the brake pegs instead

You can get a set of SL500 10-speed shifters for £30 on eBay if you're willing to wait a while for a good deal

Found an abandoned BMX outside my flat (flat tyres, cables disconnected, bits of the brakes missing and so on). Might have been stolen, trashed, and then abandoned so I'll call the police and ask if anyone's reported it.

But in the mean time I decided to fix it up and assembled this for a laugh just to see how it rides. (Has been returned to original parts since - repaired as best I can - in case it has been reported to the police and the owner wants it back.)

Smallest turning circle of any bike I've ever ridden. Didn't try anything fun on it in case I fell off and damaged it. If no one claims it'd be interesting to give it a proper ride.

I appreciate the effort that's been put in to reach that level of hideousness. Top work.

Wondering if this all a fad and everything will go back to regular carnivorous menus in 3 years...

If I listen to music that's the right BPM and not a weird time signature, and run in time with the music, and breathe in time with my steps, it actually helps me breathe more regularly

Cables should be fine as they're new-ish. I'll measure the chainline and do a bit a bit more investigating tomorrow though. Too tired tonight...

Re. my mech - I've been put riding on it all day and we noticed that the derailleur bolt thing had come very loose. So that was definitely a factor. It's still not shifting perfectly though.

@dancing james yeah, it won't shift when I'm in the big ring. If I shift from lowest gear up one nothing happens until I shift up a second one. If I shift from 3rd lowest to 2nd lowest nothing happens until I shift to the lowest. So it's not something that the barrell adjuster will fix.

@carson it's 50/34, 11-36 (don't judge me, it's windy and hilly up in Scotland!). X9 2.1 long cage mech.

It's rideable - I never ride in 50/36 obviously - but like I say I'm wondering if something is bent somewhere. I'll take another look at it and see if I can figure it out.

Trying not to dominate this thread but I have another question. My bike won't shift properly in the big ring yet works perfectly in the small ring. Can't put my B screw any lower without the mech fouling the cassette in the biggest sprocket. What could be the problem?

My only ideas are that it's possible that I mixed up the jockey wheel cage bits between a 10 speed X7 mech and 10 speed X9 - though as far as I can tell they look pretty much identical - or that it's become bent somehow.

Fry for 5 mins, add garlic, fry 2 more mins, serve

Oh shit, is that a thing? I thought I'd somehow positioned it stupidly. I'll have to adjust the cables.

Yeah it's pretty clear they're not the best. Chain popped off about 6 times today. However that's almost certainly due to the hideous tension rather than the sprocket.

I guess I could set up an eBay alert thing for 6-bolt sprockets and get a better one, I had just assumed they were uncommon.

If you take a look in the Any Questions Answered thread you'll see that chain tension is a bit troublesome.

But yeah, the rack came straight off my 700c bike and hasn't been adjusted. (I actually had to sit on it to ride to the bike shop so that they could measure the seat post diameter properly, as it's not properly round.)

Brake lever definitely needs sorting. I've got a really sore wrist just from riding 5k home.

a bargain in one quarter makes it easier to justify an indulgence in another

Let me assure you, the wheel is only worth what I paid for it. It's a total piece of shit. The branding - "Redneck XC1" - tells you all you need to know.

But seriously to respond to your actual point, this bike is going to live outside and will only ever transport me to the pub, the shops, and 5k each way to work. It's not worth buying nice parts because a) I want absolute minimum theft risk b) I'm not going to treat it delicately - ideally I won't even bother cleaning it c) I don't care if it rides slowly or horribly d) the other (more important) parts are shit, so using one nice part won't stop it from riding slowly or horribly e) I'll have a supply of casts-offs from my other bikes that can go on to this one, so I don't know how long a given set of parts will stay on it f) other reasons etc.

On a real bike I agree with you. It's kind of like the reverse of the sunk cost fallacy I suppose.

Cheaper than cassette/derailleur/shifter... Though aside from the cassette I have enough spares to bodge something together now

If I started concerning myself with quality of components I'd have to immediately chuck the whole bike in a skip

Yeah, I know. Today was the first time I've actually ridden a fixie and I found 70" was fine; it was much easier to ride at a really low cadence than really high, which is why I'm leaning towards a bigger ratio.

The caveat to that is that I was riding without a saddle, so now that I've got one I might feel differently when I ride home in a few minutes...

They do look nice but the Gusset ones are half the price. Like I said, the back wheel on this bike was only £26 and consequently spending £19.50 on a sprocket seems rather senseless.

@c00ps I'm already on an 18t but thanks for the offer!

I also ideally don't want to buy a new sprocket. And if I do have to, I'd much rather buy a 16t or 20t as those are cheaper (it's a 6-bolt sprocket that fits on a disk-hub; there seems to be only Hope and "Gusset" whoever they are that make them. The Gusset ones are a lot cheaper but only in even numbers).

According to your calculator above if 50/18 fits with 1% stretch then my chainstays are 41.7 cm plus or minus n chain links. Which means that 53/18 is pretty bang on at 41.66 cm or so. I'm assuming that everything is modular so that if my chainstays are 1 inch longer and I have two extra links the results are the same? This is not technically accurate because the chain isn't going perfectly horizontal, it's at an angle.

Re. chain stretch; what's the proper term? It's not 1% chain wear because really the chain is 100% worn. "A 1% increase in chain length due to wear" is a bit wordy

Looks like 49t 3/32" chainrings are £30 which is more than I paid for the back wheel... I can get a 52 or 53 down the road for <£5. So I'll see if I can get one of those to fit first.

Those are £8 1.5" Bontrager slicks. Not quite as horrid as coloured ones but still amusing. If I find some cheap coloured ones I'll get one (obviously I don't want them to match)

I'm on 50/18 with a 26" x 1 1/2" tyre so about 70 gear inches with 18 skid patches. 52 is only 9 skid patches, 48 is only 3. So I'd have to go up to 53 or down to 46, neither of which is very appealing. 52 might be alright I suppose. Or find a 51 or 49.

Edit: don't know my chainstay length - I'll have to measure it later - but with 1% chain stretch it was fine with one less link. The new chain ballsed it up

Another edit: a 53 gives 73.5 gear inches which I guess I could manage. And a ridiculous 36 skid patches. I'll check chainstay length later and get either a 52 or 53.