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will I die?

Sadly, yes; but unless you're going to massively overload the rack, a skewer mount's unlikely to be what kills you.

Morrisons 'the Best' all-butter deep-fill; £2 for a six-deck. Good pastry, nicely spiced filling, and comes approved by the head-bangers at the Good Housekeeping Institute. Only a miser could call these deep-fill, mind; definitely merely acceptable rather than generous, so I've docked points for that. Still a solid 7.5/10.

I have the QR clamp for ease of removal; because I have a pannier rack I just let my Camper Longflap rest on the rack. My Barley I'd be fine attaching without a rack - you might find a toestrap round the seatpost quicker/easier than the Carradice buckle fixing.

Drink I'd say (or don't do any conscious ageing beyond shoving to the back of the booze cupboard); I've not noticed any real difference in any of the Trappist stuff I've consciously put away, and have had some disappointments (albeit with stuff that wasn't so much aged as a decade past its best before date...). This Christmas I'm planning to try and drink some of the stuff I've aged rather than just endlessly cart it around with me; some Thomas Hardy's Ale, various vintages of Fuller's Vintage Ale, assorted imperial stouts.

Daft question: how do you supply cutting fluid to something like this - I presume in a bike shop you'd use a pillar drill on a workbench? I know machine tools usually have a cutting fluid feed that you can point at the workpiece, but what would you use in this situation?

Have seen Bagels used before (Bike And Gear LeverS), but 99% sure it's in jest...

I think an armoured acrylic crystal is one with a tension ring retaining mechanism - could be that the tension ring is missing?

TBF 'for EOD tomorrow' would also make sense. Is it better or worse than 'close of play' though?

Dunno whether this will be the case everywhere, but my local Aldi's clearing French T55 flour for 19p/1.5kg bag. Not massively strong, but produces nice loaves.

I cracked when the missus brought some home last week: Morrisons in-store bakery deep fill, and they were just as good as I remembered them from last year. Solid 8/10; think they're £1.25/4-pack or two packs for £2? I'm going to try and stay strong until the end of the month, but am aware this seems unlikely...

In the long run I'd try and respace it to whatever hubs you're going to be using - AIUI the residual stresses in the chain/seatstays and non-parallel dropouts can cause broken axles and other problems if heavily loaded, and for a tandem that goes double. But I may well be being overly paranoid!

Duvel tripel hop citra - think I prefer the regular version, but not half bad.

I found opera didn't really make sense to me until I went (was dragged along to) a couple. It's still often silly and overblown, but less so when the music is matching up with what's on stage.

Tweed softshell, nice but very pricey? Had a very brief look at one as I stuck my head in the Soho store yesterday evening; I like that the shoulder patch is back, but the fabric itself felt a bit thin and weird - is it more like the current winter jacket than the OG softshell?

Also, do any of the shops have physical copies of the Queens of Pain book? I'd like to flick through one before buying, as it's priced above my impulse purchase level.

It's a stereotype, but not an entirely unfounded one...

I think they charged me an extra tenner for the logger soles; as a lot of their stuff is made to order they're always happy to change options - e.g. the Derbys with a plain toecap, or a taller boot with extra eyelets, lining the boots &c.

They can do most designs in any of the leathers they've got in stock - worth ringing them or dropping them an email to find out. I think they'll send out samples for postage as well. I've now got two pairs of their boots and a pair of their cycling shoes, and am really happy with them all. I've compared them to Carradice before - their stuff is occasionally a bit rough and ready, but will last for years, and for British-made goods the VFM is excellent.

Nice chaps all round - back when I lived in Cambridge I used to route my loops past there whenever possible.

Because French cars?

Arrived this morning! New William Lennon B5 boots, which I ordered back at the end of the summer. I wanted a winter pair that would be a bit less prone to scuffing than my waxy tan 178s (though those have now gone from 'aargh scuffs' to 'patina'), but wasn't hardcore enough for the OG hobnails, so I asked them to fit Dainite Logger half-soles. Despite the square toe they're not overly roomy - I was a bit worried I might be slipping around inside, as the 178 last is already quite wide, even for my broad feet. The colour's slightly darker than I expected, but I like it. The only problem I have with leather laces is that I usually snap them within a couple of months. Any tips for improving their longevity, or should I just buy fabric ones?

Ritual exchange of beer vouchers for new tyres?

Sphere is another term for Power in your table above; not sure what the 'Parameters' bit is, but that may be contacts-specific. For a standard specs prescription you just need power (or sphere), and cylinder and axis for any astigmatism (and possibly Pupillary Distance).

http://cog.konaworld.com/kona-dream-build-joukos-killer-kilauea/ - the author linked to it on the retro MTB thread.

I recently ended up with an old 26″ enduro bike and was reminded of how fun this obsolete historical wheelsize can be.

Sorry, push along = pedalling along at speed. If you're putting much power through a Bickerton, it's going to flex about. IIRC they're not that lightweight - something like a Puch folder will probably be a bit heavier, but not so much you'd really notice.

Bickertons are infamously flexy, so that's something to be aware of if you're big or like to push along. They do have their enthusiasts, but TBH unless you desperately need the storage space I'd give it a miss as an actual utility bike - something like a Shopper will be much nicer to ride.