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I presume you're using Mapei adhesives.

DVLA used to be helpful for a couple of quid, check their online services. Alternatively, simply hitch to scaffolding lorry.

Hopefully next year it'll be 'taxi for the Conservative MPs!'.

Thanks, thought that was a done deal, was expecting Froome or Thomas.

Just got in from a gig, who?

Grammar.

This fishing lark is getting silly. I haven't fished a match since I was about 14 (for Lee Green Working Mens Club) and got asked to fish a team match today by a mate whose team was one short. Target: not letting the team down or embarrassing myself. Actuality: 2nd overall by 8 bloody ounces to the bloke who won the league individual title. Have retired from match angling again.

Buck teeth, glassy eyes, hairy legs, a bit chunky around the midriff. Yep, that's a sportive all right.

No, that was Punch.

Fuck, I'm not middle aged, I'm sodding geriatric.

If you're properly middle aged, you meant Viz. Damned fine place for an undisturbed dump is a downstairs shitter.

Based on your dream of a midlife silly car for enjoying the lanes (for the 2.3 nanoseconds before you catch up with the small people carrier) the Elise is the way to go. OK, don't plan on carrying anything more than a folding toothbrush. Ignore TTs, I had a top end one for 3 weeks when a lady of declining years parked in the side of the Z4, quick and yet the most boring 'sports' car I have ever driven.

Why not MX5?

Ps: a Z4 really drives ever so slightly differently to a 330.

No way such a charming pup would do any such thing.

He'll eat the airbed and puncture your faces.

Guilty as charged, but E85.

In 5 years of motoring: recon roof motor (relocated to boot), new alternator, new window mechs. All known faults. Sorry not to be able to put you off. One thing: if you buy one with run flats, replace them immediately, the difference to ride and handling is huge.

It just did a round trip to Exmoor from Sussex on country A and B roads without missing a beat.

She's too fucking stupid to even know that they're immigrants.

Large shingle, then pea shingle, then soil. In my experience lining is pretty pointless unless it is secured to the outside rim of the planter. Any interior fixing allows ingress of water, which will also trickle down between liner and timber and become trapped there. If you fix to the exterior rim, trailing plants can be used to conceal.

They'll take some catching....

Build ramp.

Well done for catching a pike on fly.

Well, you saw the top of Fox Pool on the Lyn in normal conditions, this is what it looked like when I returned (you need to open the attachment). I blanked, other than lovely little trout, didn't even see a salmon.

I can't find size 62 shoes anywhere.

One viciously aimed Point of Order and the Gladiators will be ancient history.

There are quite a few rarities passing through here, some of which I have reported or pictured. I watch birds and anything else that runs, crawls or slithers out of sheer fascination. I wouldn't give anything more precise than Kent/Sussex borders because twitchers tend to be unpleasant, trample everything and be a general fucking nuisance. Even though nobody on here is like that, obviously, I can't help but be protective.

How much!!! Where, so that I can avoid it?

A brief word on super bright headlamps, be careful where you point them. I've been dazzled by them twice in the last week whilst driving (most of us have to at times). OK, I'm pretty tolerant, but you don't need to give a twat in 2 tons of WankPanzer a further excuse for turning you into a smear on the road.

Context is everything....

Just when I thought it was safe to come out from behind the sofa!