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As long as it's clean......

This battery of puns has left me tyred, nay, exhausted. Give it a brake. Be Kwik, Fit in a real joke....please!!!

Anyone come across one of these? I've found one for sale but as usual suspect a copy....

Thought my Bell felt weird when I put it on yesterday. The strap to helmet fastening has failed, the metal stud fastener corroding to rust. Luckily for me I didn't find that out in a collision. I've sent details to UK distributor zyrofisher in Darlington . Anyone had dealings or similar issue?

A car passenger shouted at me today....'Pull over!'

Weird... I was wearing a t-shirt.

This sounds fucking amazing...how do you save an onion bhaji from the hungry masses? Don't tell me you buy specifically for the purpose of ?!??!??

It's a fair cop....a bit like claiming the credit for driverless vehicles. My wife invented that years ago.....

Cheddar, tomato, Heinz salad cream on granary. Old school bliss....in a bait box, with cheese n onion crisps. In the staff room, at break. Beat that....

Charity shop, Wood Green, £8. Properly patina'd and with a new pair of quality insoles, they are now my go to footwear. If they were yours, thanks. Cheers Mel

I set off this morning from East Finchley for Kingston upon Thames then Shepperton. Took in the North Circular, Kew Bridge, a few k's of Thames path. First half was fast and quiet, no peds or dogs and junctions were mostly clear. But the combination of rain and muck on the Thames footpath left me totally splattered with grit and the bike with a slow puncture. I took the train back from Shepperton to Waterloo and shuffled home. Sooo cold. So grateful for a hot shower. Now I'm staring at a pile of filthy cycling gear and a slowly deflating front tyre and I need all to be resolved by 8am tomorrow. And I need n+1 beers. And when I stand up my legs hurt. I should be able to make it to the Guinness pump.

Size please?

Thanks Roddy. Still need to meet. I'll get back to you. Cheers Mel

My buddy wearing these today. Just so I could get a pic. Older Omega possibly around 50+ years old and a more recent Seiko. I'm not an expert but I'm curious to know if anyone out there can identify them.

From SJS cycles.......

Full English?

Wow. Double bird reference. Eider and seagull. You should be choughed.

I'm not sure any brakes would stop you 'down quite a big grassy hill with Mrs Sparky on the back, with dew on the ground....'

As ever....tandem and madness combine....

I want one.....

Yeh. That would work I'm sure. Look out for this response...

What's the difference between squash and cordial?

I can't cordial your balls between 2 house bricks.

This thread needs pictures.

Bite a small hole in a bag of crisps. Gently and firmly crush the bag on a flat surface. Tip the contents onto a slice of well buttered white bread. Squirt a spiral of tomato sauce over the crisp crumbs. Place a second slice of buttered white on top. Slam it down with the flat palm of your hand. This will minimise leakage when eating.

Tip: experiment with different flavours of crisps.

Note: don't be tempted to cut this sandwich in 2. It's a two-hander.

Warning: this doesn't work with all snacks eg Hoola Hoops where you may end up with hard baked potato based shards puncturing the skin on your palm.

A strong defence...and as you say, with precedent. Sentence suspended pending good behaviour. Enjoy!

It is a Dishoom breakfast wrap. Fraud!!! A fiver to the forum fund surely?

That sounds like a Dishoom breakfast wrap?!???

He is 82. I'd be selling all my Rolex's long before I'm 82. If I had any.

This watch on the telly today. On Flog It. Bought in the 50's in Kuala Lumpur by an RAF airman for £25. Original warranty and receipt all matching numbers on the case. Hasn't worked since the 60's. Estimated at £200 to £300. Sold for £1500 making an 82 yr old ex RAF man very happy.