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guys, what are you basing this on?

Foot size is the traditional way - and those feet look enormous

something that gives that winter effect, but won't be crazy by summer

Grasses, again? Generally not massive and quite innocuous in summer, flower heads tending to come after your peony will be finished flowering

https://www.richardjacksonsgarden.co.uk/five-great-winter-grasses/

3m tall, 2m wide probably by July. But obviously it's a completely different species so not sure how useful the comparison is - but just to show a deciduous tree, hard pruned, can really grow fast. Dogwoods are probably smaller than elders for most varieties?

I cut back an elder hard every year and it's huge by summer. Hard pruning generally leads to bigger leaves.

If you're not sure you could dig a hole and plant it still in its pot. Then in summer you can either remove the pot to let it settle in, or change your mind and move it

I don't know but it would need to feel like an escape, and be further west

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/bombshell-mega-poll-predicts-tories-32121361

If I had a million pounds in cash (no mortgage possible on that), well, I would not be spending it on a prefab bungalow in UKIPland

They also have to demonstrate a loss to justify the fine level, which they simply cannot

Again I think this is out of date after a 2015 Supreme Court case. The MSE link does give a full set of instructions as to what you should do though

I am pretty sure you are out of date, the parking companies now usually win these cases:
https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/reclaim/private-parking-tickets/

I recently successfully appealed one with ParkingEye. But I did it within the deadline, and I was fortunate that somebody else who got a fine at the exact same premises had it featured in the Guardian
https://www.theguardian.com/money/2023/oct/03/i-was-fined-100-for-queuing-up-at-a-carwash-queue

Your wife is following the latest trends clearly

Also, genuinely dangerous. You'll be heaving hot pots of liquid from the hob to the sink, in another room?

You have thought about this more than me

Could you go to M&S next please and assess these using the same method
https://www.marksandspencer.com/waterproof-pull-on-chelsea-boots/p/clp60551834

Would have thought Monty would wear artisan £400 wellies not homebrew, though

You know that is a stock option, right?

https://tigersafety.co.uk/dunlop-dee-calf-short-half-length-quality-pvc-2-2

Anything heated, with a reservoir for water, capillary matting, with a lid but ventilation too.

Plus a grow light unless you have a south facing windowsill

For those missing Wilkos cheap seeds, I noticed Home Bargains has tonnes at 50p a packet

New

Old: hobbit house, the yard, werbs

Magnificent, especially love the veined leaves - do you know the variety?

I have a normal guelder rose as part of a sort-of-hedge - so that's an unimproved viburnum opulus I think. It is a wild hedgerow plant, whose flowers and berries are ornamental enough to nearly be properly garden worthy. So maybe your improved version would be. It's big, sprawling and bushy, and in the winter its just a bundle of bare twigs. I really do like it a lot, but for a slightly out of the way spot not a focal point

Looks very similar but yours is mains voltage I think

Super helpful. Presumably I want to match the number of filaments - and that this is directly related to the wattage?

This one looks nearly right but 2 filaments instead of 4
https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/355242374452

Is this a standard light bulb for which I can buy a replacement? The only marking I can see on it is W.20.III

It comes from a 'Salcombe' solar powered light from TheSolarCentre. They are being very weird with questions about it - saying that it is not available in shops, that they will be selling a replacement 'soon' (although they have been saying this for literally 5 years), and that sourcing a replacement elsewhere won't work and will break the light. Well the light is no use to me without a working bulb anyway, and I don't believe any of what they're saying.

if you can just trim down any conifer willy nilly

Many (most?) will not regrow from old wood, so if you butcher it, it'll look butchered forever.

Bird nesting season now so if I were you I would just embrace its privacy and wildlife value, until you can afford to get it properly removed.

Maybe grow a climber up it so you get some flowers
https://www.rhs.org.uk/plants/clematis/grow-into-trees

SJS have them, but for a very unhumble £300

Yeah, could be a possibility. No idea what the soil was like originally (most of the garden is clay and builders rubble), neither get fed as such, both get mulched with a variety of things each year but the same on each side.