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am now worried he'll forever have his beady italian eyes on my beautiful bianchi, slowly eating his banana and plotting new and ever more devious ways to liberate it from its english master.

Kinda like the elgin marbles...

Abus chain lock - probably worth more than the bike.

Will just keep an eye I think, but action will have to be taken at 5:30 if it's still there. Thing is how am I gonna cut a fairly befty lock?

Sounds dodgy to me, using a decent abus on a crap bike.

Can you get hold of an angle grinder and extension lead? If so, cut the lock off and leave a note. I wouldn't go to the trouble of putting another lock on his/her bike, cos that'll only get cut too.

What kind of lock?

Aah, that's better

Good post murtle. A lot of the 1st time posts about OTP bikes are asking for help when choosing between 2 specific bikes - so the poster has done a bit of research already and wants help in making a comparison - nothing wrong with that.

Murtle, I'm worried tho, you coming over all soft and gentle?

This man speaks sense!

There's a first time for everything....

the biggest embarrassment to humanity since the Sinclair C5.

A mate once stole a C5 whilst drunk and got pinched by the bill

he's just so ill looking..

...err, that's because he is

what was this surprise then?

I think the words "awesome" and "hilarious" were slightly misleading....

At one point a random, passing drunk came over and took a long look at the box as if he was going to explain the rules, before pronouncing that he didn't understand German. He helpfully offered that it was to do with cycling, someone pointed out that the big picture of cyclists on the box was a bit of a giveaway.

Thanks to Corny for the top tip - when you've had enough lager to last you the week the previous day, switching to cider is a good option...

as the arrival of alias shows, it feels like its too easy to create an alias, and most of them are just used to derail threads for sport, which seems to be a bit fucked up, can someone let me know when the joke wears thin?

+1

I owe Alfie a punch in the nuts.

:)

I'd better tell him to bring Vince along as back up....you have NO chance!

Sorry you couldn't make it Bobobobibob - we had kids there - Markboy's in fact, who were taken home before he got involved in the Brothers Twin drinking games.

I think Big African Sunset whipped them up into a coca cola fuelled frenzy. I've a photo of Alfie pulling his worst "I've just bitten into a slice of lemon" face.

I returned them to a "why are they so excited?" - coca cola was my answer, Alfie said it was all the fault of the big hairy ginger man.....

George Clinton - Do Fries Go With That Shake?

I'll see if I can find a pic of the cover....

Brixton bill identified him due to prints and DNA and went to nick him. Meanwhile, their colleagues from another borough had already pulled him on another offence and he's on remand. Brixton police went to interview him and he refused to leave his cell to talk to them, which is within his rights by all accounts, and so he remains locked up. They are now going to send a team of "speciaist technical officers" round to see him - whatever the fuck that means - to repatriate him to Brixton station and have another chat.

He must be connected with something bigger for them to be putting all this effort into nicking him for this break in. Still its's all very entertaining for me and the Met are clearly brushing up their PR skills by keeping me so informed of developments....

Amazingly, the alleged perpetrator is currently residing at her majesty's pleasure and refusing to leave his cell!

how do you know it wasn't just chugit, parked in front of an enormous mirror?

After last night's session and the sun burning my eyes, it easily could've been.

AFDS and Chugit at the bottom of Brixton Hill by the town hall - looked kinda shocked when I yelled "oi"

Where you at? There's a dentist at Clapham South that takes NHS patients and only charges 16 notes for a check-up.

CS Spence
19 Balham Hill
SW12 9DY
020 8673 3250

What I mean is, they will register new NHS patients - at least they did last time I checked.

Where you at? There's a dentist at Clapham South that takes NHS patients and only charges 16 notes for a check-up.

CS Spence
19 Balham Hill
SW12 9DY
020 8673 3250

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I'm not sure how they manage it, but my kids just don't do this. Or rather they ask, but they don't have a total fit if we refuse. However, when we go to exhibitions like that we deliberately factor in some pocket money beforehand, but we let them know how much it will be in advance. If they need more money on the day it comes out of their piggy banks.
In shops they get nowt unl;ess we are going there to buy it for them specifically. We set down the ground rules very ealry and stuck to them. It's paid off now.

However, in other areas they are fucking nightmares! If anyone can suggest a way to get a 4 year old to clean their teeth that doesn't involve as much effort and distress all round as deworming a cat, I'm all ears!!!!!

Sure it makes sense and that usually works, but however good your kids are and however well you explain, there are always going to be times when it's tough. Which doesn't mean you have to give in, I don't. I just resent the set up and being put in that situation in the first place.

As for teeth brushing - for some reason that's never been a problem with any of mine. We haven't done anything special, other than not buy toothpast with a really strong taste.

yup, you clearly know what you're on about then

Just feckin' say 'no' to your kids. No one is forcing you to give in to their demands.
My old man was great at it!

How old are your kids?

No offence taken. I agree with you both, what can I say... my job sucks. But until I get to go back to doing cycling events I am a hired gun and I am doing what pays my bills -- yes marketing is evil.. VERY VERY evil ;)

I understand your position - I don't mean to have a go at you.

Actually marketing doesn't suck, but marketing stuff at little kids who don't have a real understanding of money and the value of things, and who are incredibly impressionable, does suck. It's using kids as the "middle man" between the company and the customer that I really object to.

BMMF - I don't take it personally. But I am definately looking into other revenue generators, I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't. Its my job to make sure my clients utilise and maximise their potential. One only has to look around to notice that characters from books or TV translate into merch options which generally out perform the original - Seasame Street Lunch Boxes?? I am guessing you or someone you know had one at one point - or an ANIMAL T ;)

The problem is that, as a parent, you are continually faced with merchandising of kids characters etc. that drain your funds. You can't go in to Woolworths without being faced with rows of toys and characters drawn from TV and films - and it's a constant battle. Here's another example - I took the kids to Earls Court on Sunday to the Doctor Who exhibition (!?) and paid over £30 to get in. Then you can't get out without passing through a shop selling overpriced tat, designed to appeal directly to kids. There is no other route out of the place - the shop can't be avoided - and you end up arguing with the children and risk ruining the visit. To be honest it's fucking outrageous, and these people should go and make their money elsewhere, rather than preying on parents' reluctance to upset their children. It's verging on the immoral.

Rant over, no offence intended.

The way in which Chris Crash somehow managed to chuck a pint pot on the floor whilst attempting to help the barmaid clear the table was entertaining......