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It's weird nosing around this place again after the hiatus. Was it me that started the 'Unconditional Love' thread? Rings a bell, despite being out of character – except not, because I'm all over the place, as most people came to realise.

I know I was dickish on many occasions, probably not offset by the helpful/caring/funny/interested posts. Sorry about that. I realised it had all become too diffuse and conventional for my tastes by about 2010, so I eventually did a global ignore rather than hanging around whingeing in increasingly demented tones. I've come to depend on the same strategy IRL when sunk in a trough of despair/misanthropy: disengage until it passes. Otherwise it's like sitting in your car moaning about the traffic. I don't have a car. I still think fixed gear bicycles are the bestest.

There's probably some analogy to be made about the nature of the forum based on its provenance. Something about seeking connection through a singular vision. Something about simplicity. Something about suffering. I'm glad it was my introduction to the world of social media. I did inhale.

A lot of us at UCL had persistent low level symptoms in the run up to Xmas, and the campus was punctuated by the sound of non-stop coughing. Obviously a massive Chinese student population – just generally global with lots of travel. We’ve all suspected it was early C-19.

I was sent this interesting blog piece by Catherine Mayer today about the death of her husband, Andy Gill from Gang of Four. More food for thought on the vagueness of the viral timeline:

https://www.catherinemayer.co.uk/post/2020-vision-14-may-16-00

Sounds like runner’s lice. They gravitate to the damp warmth of shoes post-run. When you next wear the shoes the lice work their way through your socks and anchor to your feet with barbs that double as ovipositors. The larvae incubate subcutaneously causing a blister-like appearance as they expand. They hatch while the host is sleeping and head off to find some shoes. You’ll experience pins and needles from the mild toxin that’s released, and a temporary delusion that you can hear the ground moaning as you step on it.

I’d walk to Liverpool St, get the train to Rye House, walk or run past the sewage works, up the hill, then down the winding road towards Royston, cross over the level crossing and get to the pub – and you’d still be trying to stay upright at home.

I can’t remember if CCC always used the EH/13 (the Fulbourn one) or it was previously on the F2y/H (the other one). I never made it out there to compete in the end – pity, as I’d beaten the current champion at the time on other climbs. Yesteryear…

By the 3rd rep, yes.

There used to be a Cambridge CC one.

I've ridden Swains in 94". Not very quickly.

I understand your trepidation, but it's fine. Just exhale strongly after the swallow, then inhale deeply with control (through your nose for this one breath if possible). Then back to the respiratory level you were at pre-swallow, however ragged – though the temporary focus of swallowing can actually improve things.

I'm probably only directing Junior parkruns once we're operational again. Hmm…

This one:

The three of us here each have a copy of the limited edition hardback with minor edits.

I also think gobbing's disgusting, though feel less strongly about snot-rockets – which is weird because I'll happily stick my knob in a mouth, but if there were a nostril of requisite size, I think I'd pass up the opportunity.

When flirting with beetroot juice (in a non-penetrative way), I read that you should definitely swallow your saliva during exercise as it was a big part of the nitrate-utilisation system.

Thanks, but don't worry about it. It's not got long to last, and my current rule is that (real) bike parts travel in one direction only: out the door.

Hello. Without meaning to be prescriptive – enjoy your tea.

Yeah. I think it's currently 47/39 with a 23/13, 9spd. The cassette's fucked. Faith got on it the other day having coming from three months of spin biking at a local gym, started pedalling and said, "THIS FEELS TERRIBLE!"

Some people are so pedantic about their set-up.

Hello @Fox & @Oliver Schick

@Bainbridge - He needn't worry. I have six weeks (injuries aside) to try to undo six years of not cycling. The advantage of putting imagined cycling expenses in the virtual penny jar all that time is I've been able to order a Wattbike Atom for shared family fitness duties. I know there are idiosyncrasies which make it rubbish for Zwift racing, but I couldn't really give a fuck about that as I do my sprinting on the athletics track in the real world. I just need some distraction indoors aside from the sound of my decade old chain and cassette disintegrating – like a Basinski track.

He embodies all of them.

Yes. It was fun. I mentioned it on a long walk with my wife on a very hot day a few years ago. We criss-crossed that road on a circular route from Stanstead Abbotts.

Absolutely not.

I got myself a life, but it’s over now.

https://youtu.be/c1nTwfUs7oA

I know he wants one.

My son repeatedly rejected my offers to show him how to fix a puncture on his BMX. Eventually he got a puncture. I shrugged. That was three months ago.

To me that means bag, locks, tools, pump, blah blah blah. I’m fucking done with bike faff. I can’t risk going out without tools, puncturing, and having to walk for any length of time, particularly in inflexible shoes.

Yes, I’ve thought this through.