Avatar for JamesNQ


Member since Jun 2013 • Last active Apr 2020

Most recent activity

  • in Miscellaneous and Meaningless
    Avatar for JamesNQ

    I've just finished watching it.

    Jesus Christ.

  • Avatar for JamesNQ

    Yeah, Chris is single and the only female he's pretty much known in his life is his mother.

    He's actually terrible around women. He reads/watches a lot of Jordan Peterson, many of the documentaries about how Google, the 'left' are controlling us, etc. He's built a narrative that he's a good guy and that women should like him.

    I truly feel he isn't a bad person at all, he may just have anger built up and he takes to things easily that fit his narrative of how the world is.

  • Avatar for JamesNQ

    Wow, some amazing responses, thanks so much.

    Weirdly, I don't actually know that much about my friend's childhood or family life, maybe this is why?

    I feel this thread has actually helped me a lot already because I've kinda 'got it down on paper' my thoughts of how he could be autistic. I don't think to ask him if he is or to get him to find out would do any good, he's the most stubborn person, but equally as passive, a strange personality dynamic.

    An example of the way he is, a few days ago he moaned at me on the phone why Subway isn't open on Christmas Day, and that it's a fantastic day to get things done. He spent the day replacing the brake pads on his car.

    He also gets furious at McDonald's workers when they use one of those Coke dispensers and there will be a small drip of Diet coke (literally a drip) in his regular coke... (how the fuck can he even taste it!?!?)

    I also feel that I don't want too many of his opinions and thought processes to rub off on me. I may limit my time with him, maybe once every few weeks instead of once a week seeing him, and only then to go out drinking? It's really tough because I value his friendship, but at the same time, I have to think about my own happiness.

  • Avatar for JamesNQ

    I did consider it, but I am in no way shape or form educated enough on the subject to just diagnose someone with autism, and even then it wouldn't change his actions? :(

  • Avatar for JamesNQ

    LFGSS has been pretty helpful to me over the last 8ish years, so I have something I'd like help with, please!

    I have a friend who is one of the hardest people I've ever had to maintain a friendship with. We'll call 'Chris'.

    Chris is an engineer and very, very clever. He's worked at the same company for 8 years and never made a single mistake with any of his work. He works at a company of 200 people and just about everyone at the company dislikes him, mainly because he will speak exactly what is on his mind when someone has made an error, or he thinks what they are doing isn't the right way to do it. They don't invite him to sit at the table with him at lunch or go out for drinks etc, most of the people despise him.

    In the 7 years of being friends with him, he's been round to my house a total of twice, I go to his house maybe once a week. Chris lives by himself and doesn't really speak to his family that much, and me and my other friend are pretty much the only people he associates with outside of work. I once got so fed up of making the effort of trying to talk to him that I left it to see when he would contact me, it lasted 6 months before I caved it.

    95% of the time, Chris is a pleasure to be around and I really enjoy his company, he's a great friend who is generous, listens to what I have to say and we go mountain biking, drinking and other fun activities, we always have a great time.

    The 5% that I find trouble with. He can be incredibly honest and very rude because of it, and a lot of the time I feel quite deflated and actually quite sad when I leave his house. Just about everyone who knows him feels this way. When he's bad, all he does is moan about things that really aren't important to daily life. His people skills are not far off 0.

    When we go out, he'll regularly wear trousers that are ripped and shoes with holes in, and it gets quite awkward telling him he can't do out with clothing that is falling apart. It's not a money or hoarding issue, he just doesn't see it as a problem.

    I have long suspected Chris may be on the autistic spectrum. I love him to bits, he's a true friend to me and I value our relationship dearly, but he's honestly the hardest person I've ever tried to be friends with. I feel out of my depth sometimes trying to deal with him and how he makes me feel, and I'm not sure what to do. If me and my other friend didn't work to maintain a friendship with him, he'd do 0 with his life and not speak to anyone.

    Can anyone offer me advice on ways to deal with him? I'd really love to learn how to manage someone like him, so I can maintain our friendship.

  • in COVID-19
    Avatar for JamesNQ

    Does anything think we will go into lockdown?

    I understand Mother's Day was a bit of a shit-show with everyone visiting tourist attractions, but surely we've learned our lesson? Surely?

  • in COVID-19
    Avatar for JamesNQ

    May not be much help, but I have just got back from Australia, many friends in Melbourne, Noosa and Sydney.

    If you needed cats looking after, I can ask around?