So sorry to hear about your loss. I can't imagine what it must be like but I'm wishing you all the best and hope that the bike building keeps offering the solace you need.
Like a couple of posts already mentioned, I also saw your BMX collection in Rad Rides and I was/still in awe of them. The Mid School era is what made me fall in love with BMX and is the thing that still ties me to it now. Part of the reason I bought a Barcode and an STA500 was seeing the level of builds you did and although mine won't be nearly as nice they'll be the kind of thing I'll be aiming for. Your Standard 125 is still one of my favourite builds of all time. All the best and thanks for the inspiration.