Bastard bloody punctures.
The single speed bike had a flat so I went to change it, grabbed a brand new spare tube, intending to install that and fix the other.
Remove chain, wheel and tyre, pull out tube. Pump it up and listen for hiss. No hiss. Pump it up more, no hiss. Immerse it in water, no bubbles. Oh well, I'll leave it pumped up whilst I chuck the other tube in, and see if it stays pumped up.
Install new tube. Install wheel. Hang chain. Tighten bolts. Pump up tube. Hissssss. Grrr.
Remove chain, wheel, remove tyre, remove tube. Pump up tube. It's failed at the seam. Grrrr. Check tyre where the hole is, nothing sharp. OK, it was a dodgy tube.
The original tube is still holding air. Cool, I'll put that back in and see what happens. Maybe one of my kids just let the tyre down, or I didn't do up the valve or whatever.
Install original tube, install tyre, install wheel, hang chain, tighten bolts, adjust brakes.
Pump up tube. Looking good. Pressure going up nicely. Hang on, what's that? Oh shit, the wire bead wasn't seated. We have major tube bulge going on here. Quick, try to get pump off valve and release pressure. Head near tube. Fucking Huge Bang. In my face. Agggh. Ringing ears, talc in face and eyes. Grrrrrrrrr.
OK. I'm going to sort this out. Because now I am angry.
Patch the new tube with the failed seam. Test inflate the tube with the patch. It holds air, looking good.
Remove chain. Remove wheel. Remove tyre. Remove ragged ass exploded tube.
Install patched tube. Install tyre. Install wheel. Adjust brakes. Tighten bolts. Pump up tyre. Hissssss.
Fuck this. Throw bike, pump, tools, work stand in the shed and leave it for another day or probably a bike shop.