GSIAD VIII (LFGSS 10th Birthday Slam)

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  • Brian is writing a slogan on a wall, oblivious to the Roman patrol approaching from behind. The slogan is "ROMANES EUNT DOMUS".

    Centurion: What's this thing? "ROMANES EUNT DOMUS"? "People called Romanes they go the house?" Brian: It... it says "Romans go home". Centurion: No it doesn't. What's Latin for "Roman"?
    Brian hesitates
    Centurion: Come on, come on! Brian: (uncertain) "ROMANUS". Centurion: Goes like? Brian: "-ANUS". Centurion: Vocative plural of "-ANUS" is? Brian: "-ANI". Centurion: (takes paintbrush from Brian and paints over) "RO-MA-NI". "EUNT"? What is "EUNT"? Brian: "Go". Centurion: Conjugate the verb "to go"! Brian: "IRE"; "EO", "IS", "IT", "IMUS", "ITIS", "EUNT". Centurion: So "EUNT" is ...? Brian: Third person plural present indicative, "they go". Centurion: But "Romans, go home!" is an order, so you must use the ...?
    He lifts Brian by his short hairs
    Brian: The ... imperative. Centurion: Which is? Brian: Um, oh, oh, "I", "I"! Centurion: How many Romans? (pulls harder) Brian: Plural, plural! "ITE".
    Centurion strikes over "EUNT" and paints "ITE" on the wall
    Centurion: "I-TE". "DOMUS"? Nominative? "Go home", this is motion towards, isn't it, boy? Brian: (very anxious) Dative?
    Centurion draws his sword and holds it to Brian's throat
    Brian: Ahh! No, ablative, ablative, sir. No, the, accusative, accusative, ah, DOMUM, sir. Centurion: Except that "DOMUS" takes the ...? Brian: ... the locative, sir! Centurion: Which is? Brian: "DOMUM". Centurion: (satisfied) "DOMUM"...
    He strikes out "DOMUS" and writes "DOMUM"
    Centurian: ..."-MUM". Understand? Brian: Yes sir. Centurion: Now write it down a hundred times. Brian: Yes sir, thank you sir, hail Caesar, sir. Centurion: (saluting) Hail Caesar. If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off. Brian: (very relieved) Oh thank you sir, thank you sir, hail Caesar and everything, sir!

  • I am, indeed, delighted.

    I have, also, split that infinitive.

  • I am, indeed, delighted. Whilst having, also, split that infinitive.

  • "Whilst", like "amongst", is archaic and best avoided. "While" and "among" are to be preferred.

  • I am, indeed, delighted.

    I have, also, split that infinitive.

    I am, indeed, delighted. Whilst having, also, split that infinitive.

    You have not, in fact, split any infinitives. The infinitive is that form of the verb which in English is indicated by the addition of 'to'. (Obviously, as there is hardly any conjugation in English, it is easily confused with other forms of the verb.) The grammatical misdemeanour of splitting the infinitive is to insert a word, in the vast majority of cases an adverb, between the 'to' and the verb:

    https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/gramma­r/split-infinitives

    You've split a couple of other verb forms, deliberately inelegantly, of course, but no infinitive.

    As the article notes, splitting the infinitive can be necessary to achieve the desired meaning, and the objection to it is only really valid if the intended meaning isn't achieved in this way, or when it is stylistically clumsy.

  • True, although the worst problem in that post is the full stop after 'delighted', which means that what should have been a subordinate clause becomes an incomplete sentence.

  • The grammatical misdemeanour of splitting the infinitive is to cheekily insert a word, in the vast majority of cases an adverb, between the 'to' and the verb:

    Split that for you.

  • Some of you noticed that I didn't make use of the d-lock i carried all day, due to not bringing the keys...

    Well it got better as I accidentally left it outside the Slaughtered Lamb and then went on holiday for two weeks...

    Lo and behold I had a nose yesterday on the way to Waterloo and there it was waiting to be reclaimed! I was very chuffed to have saved £40.

    Then some shit knicked my saddle while I was in the pub...

  • Facebook reminder this happened 4 years ago today.


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GSIAD VIII (LFGSS 10th Birthday Slam)

Posted by Avatar for jonny @jonny

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