Epic WTF

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  • We desperately need you back in the game, and in Greenwich. One final heist!

    Id reform the band for you but I ended up being fired so I'm not sure they'd see me as part of the dream team.

  • I hope for crushing too many cars, or perhaps adding some grudges in, generally just getting too close so you had to be off the force.

  • I also knew exactly who's letterbox to slip a very heavily used dildo I once found in the street through.

    How used does a dildo have been to be obviously heavily used? This is the question that's been bugging me since I read this.

  • How used does a dildo have been to be obviously heavily used? This is the question that's been buggering me since I read this.


  • What for?

    (if you can say)

  • Can't help accept to say that DIY pruning of cherry is highly likely to kill it.

    They're very fickle and generally don't like to be pruned.

    It's a good eg of why people should be made to answer some sort of questionnaire before being allowed to buy a tree.

  • I dread to think what happened to it but it wasn't in a good way. It was just very crusty.

  • I mean, please feel free to offer up supporting evidence of your position. I'd be grateful for the education, and to know definitively what the law is on this. It seems to be just bloke in the pub opinions that I read everywere, otherwise. Cheers!

  • What for?

    (if you can say)

    With the benefit of decades of hindsight...various infractions relating to being 18yo, spending all of my money on beer and beak and knowing literally everything combined with the outrageous confidence of somebody fresh out of private school. in other words, I was every bit as much of dick then, as I am now :D

  • Ah man, this is bringing back fond memories. After I got fired from my abandoned vehicles job I opened my first shops with a friend....a PC repair business on Boone Street in Lee (one of the shops in the small arcade there) and an internet cafe on Woolwich Road.

  • The RHS has some advice. It’s common law.

  • And not how long he's kept the heavily used dildo for?

  • Cool - thanks.

    you can’t simply throw them over the boundary into your neighbour’s garden!

    Except you can. I have proof.

    I did this.
    "Hi Mr cake. Did you chop down our hedge and Chuck it over the fence"
    "Oh. Ok"

    It’s common law.

    Is it though? It still feels very much "so and so said this, and they seem credible, so it must be true"

  • Re: Cherry tree:
    Don’t prune it yourself unless you know what you’re doing with fruit trees and def only do it while dormant. Cut to branch collars, not just stubs.
    If you’re only pruning your side it almost certainly won’t do you any favours as the tree might go into shock and put out a ton of regrowth where you’ve pruned it and end up really dense blocking the light more.

    When I did trees for hackney the main aim of the game was to NOT prune any tenants tree if it can be avoided as there simply won’t be the budget for it(councils generally concerned with clearing around street lights, cctv and signage). We really only did stuff when it was causing a hazard to the tenant- branches rubbing on windows or damaging gutters etc.

    That cherry needs a 20% crown reduction, general thin and deadwood and it’d look fab.

    Re: arisings:
    Chuck that shit back over the fence. They should have taken care of their gardens in the first place.

    Source: 12yrs of domestic, LA and commercial tree work.

  • Good to see po po stopping criminals.

    I am also a criminal from all the fruits/berries i have stolen.

  • Was going to @ you but hoped you would appear.

  • Is it Lambeth housing or Lambeth commercial/Lambeth as housing?

    Firstly, find out if there is a tree preservation order on the tree. Always best to check to be very sure.

    Contact the owner of the property, which bit of Lambeth asking them when the tree was last inspected. If there is no answer or won't tell you, which is most likely. Then you need to make a freedom of information act request to find out when the tree was last surveyed.

    Will add more when at a computer.

    EDIT now at a computer.

    As it is LB of Lambeth, they were concerned about tree issues as there were people killed by being hit by trees in a public park so there was a panic as the public liability insurance didn't cover.

    So I'd make my self a pain to the local councillor and MP etc to get LB of Lambeth to deal with it. It may take more time and more hassle but will saving paying for the work and getting hassle from a Lambeth tenant. Also if the council fuck it up, nowt to do with you.

  • If you Google common law tree pruning, and similarly common law and hedge pruning you will find reams of pages, mostly from local authorities, which seem to say exactly the same thing as I just said.
    I haven’t read them all. Between 1988 and 2006 I looked after this area of work for a local authority who employed me. I don’t have the journals to hand as I left over 15 years ago. However I used our legal department countless times to enforce common law on the miles of boundaries abutting our woodlands.
    If you do prune overhanging branches and throw them back over the fence to your neighbour, and a dispute takes place, feel free to use the precedent set by @cake.

  • Source: 12yrs of domestic, LA and commercial tree work.

    Would it be possible to message you about a tree affecting our property please? It isn't epic wtf, but i could post in gardening I guess for other views.

  • Or how long the heavily used dildo was? These are all penetrating questions.

  • Cool - thanks.

    Very little on the actual throwing part, to the point of none, unfortunately.

    But at this point, it's not like either of us probably care that much, and it's not like I don't get rid of them myself when I hack down overhanging trees.

    We should probably grass @cake up, just to be safe.

  • Can’t have been that big if it fit through a letter box.

    Could have been ‘long and thin and goes too far in’ I suppose but defo wasn’t ‘short and fat which is where it’s at’ but maybe that’s why it was discarded in the street?

  • Going back to the dildo issue,
    I need to make a dildo seat post to play a practical joke on a guy who is retiring soon......
    The question is .....
    Is there a forum approved dildo I should use or can I use any cheap Ann summers stag/hen party thing I can find ?

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  • Mate, just take them to the pub and get them an Argos voucher.

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Epic WTF

Posted by Avatar for spotter @spotter