Jump start needed

Went to start the car this morning and it would not even turn the engine over once.

The battery is pretty old, so it needs to be replaced I think.

Would someone be kind enough to either come and give me a jump start in SE23, or give me a lift from the nearest Halfords back to the house with a new battery?

I will accept calls to HTFU only from people who have carried a 20 kg battery up a 22% climb.

can't you roll down this 22% climb and bump start?

Thought about it, not sure I want to run the risk of the car not starting and therefore not having any power assistance for the (325mm/4 piston) brakes.

If I set it rolling I reckon the car would hit approx 40mph as it shot out into the middle of the A205

Who needs an engine with hills like that? Can't you just coast all the way up north?

For additional shits and giggle then imagine the scene:

The car is parked on the flat section of a roundabout that is close to the crest of the hill.

Due to some confusion (the car thought that is was, in fact, a large red sled) it was left (abandoned is such a cruel word) pointing the wrong way on the one way roundabout.

So, I'd need to go down the 22% hill backwards.

Now if someone has experience of jump starting a car in reverse down a steep hill they are welcome to have a go.

Also- the car will need pushing off the flat section to the start of the slope, so pushers with crampons would be needed.

Yeah - probably best get a jump start then.

Green flag or Aa no an option?

No home start.

I could roll it down the hill and call them out when it is parked across the A205 I suppose.

jump starting downhil backwards? J-turn halfway down

with AA and such is there anyone who hass AA RAC e.t.c. who could come to the car with you and sit in it and call them then? remember its the car the member is in not the members car that is covered. If you still get stuck with no chance of a new battery that should work

The lesson here is ALWAYS get 'Home Start' when you sort your breakdown cover

I will accept calls to HTFU only from people who have carried a 20 kg battery up a 22% climb.

I'm sure your arm cannons could sort this.
or
GET A FUCKING TAXI YOU CHEAP GIT.

The lesson here is ALWAYS get 'Home Start' when you sort your breakdown cover

I've used it 3 times this winter already. They won't come again unless I get a new battery.

I've used it 3 times this winter already. They won't come again unless I get a new battery.

Well get a new battery then. Duurrrghhh....errr H ELLL OOooo?

:rolleyes:

fingers at damo

I dont think its the battery, its forgetting to turn my headlights off that is the real problem.

If you've got ignition lights, it'll definitely bump start downhill in reverse.
puts coffee on

I dont think its the battery, its forgetting to turn my headlights off that is the real problem.

Have you passed your test? Christ, you sound worse than my Mrs

2 jump leads walk into a bar. The barman says "Alright, i'll serve you, but don't start anything!"

How did the jump leads walk into a bar? Did they have feet? Were they animated? Did they possess life?

I don't believe that these "jump leads" did "walk into" a "bar". I think you're trying to make some kind of joke.

How did the jump leads walk into a bar? Did they have feet? Were they animated? Did they possess life?

Of course they didn't have feet!

They had legs you daft shite.

Legs? Jump leads had legs?
Pull the other one.

The other leg?

I had to buy a new battery a couple of weeks ago, got it from Halfords Whitechapel and rode it home to Highgate. Not 22% but still, HTFU.

Later I had a brainwave, should have gone to Waitrose and borrowed a trailer. Perfect 20:20 hindisght strikes again.

Seriously, get a trailer from Waitrose and walk up the sodding hill.