The abstinence thread

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  • Moderation is definitely me these days when it comes to drink. I don't think it should be 'for a bit' though, it should be something you stick at, with perhaps very occasional exceptions.

    It's definitely different if you have a major problem though - people I know who've been through AA/NA don't touch a drop, I guess there must be a reason for that.

    James did your returns to intoxication come after periods of abstinence or moderation?

  • After periods of abstinence i can either hit the ground running at the usual rate or fool myself with a couple of moderate sessions that I can now control myself.

    Either way things start to get pretty messy pretty quickly.

    So it may start as special occasions, but quickly that becomes every weekend, becomes whole weekends, becomes everyday.

    This does not just apply to intoxicants, but anything that makes me feel slightly different than normal - shopping, eating, fucking, exercise... The notion that moderation and myself belong together is a myth. So these days have to do a lot of things to keep myself in check.

  • With you on that James.

    I've quit basically everything. But just find new things to develope an addictive relationship with. I even started exercising in an addictive manner.

    I remember Mrs Smallfurry being away for a weekend and spend basically a third of my weekend in the gym, a third running, and the rest doing swiss-ball training at home. The reality of the matter first hit me when I automatically lied to her when she got back, and asked why I looked so exhusted.

    I think once you're aware of your addictive tendencies you can keep a grip on them. Well works for me at least.

    All the best etc.

  • I'm a rotten piss head.

    The day I stop drinking is the day all the hangovers will come to get me.

    I went dry for a week recently and my mind went batshit and I didn't sleep more than two hours a night.

    It's something I'm going to have to tackle sooner or later...

  • luci

    you know where it will lead you... join my club

  • With you on that James.

    I've quit basically everything. But just find new things to develope an addictive relationship with. I even started exercising in an addictive manner.

    I remember Mrs Smallfurry being away for a weekend and spend basically a third of my weekend in the gym, a third running, and the rest doing swiss-ball training at home. The reality of the matter first hit me when I automatically lied to her when she got back, and asked why I looked so exhusted.

    I think once you're aware of your addictive tendencies you can keep a grip on them. Well works for me at least.

    All the best etc.

    That's very interesting.

    The other thing I find is that you spend ages on doing things to make significant others happy, just so you can justify doing the thing that makes them sad.

  • I think 4 weeks off it has done me well. I've not lost any weight (which is disappointing), but I definitely feel less sluggish and have managed to reacquaint myself with the pool and gym.
    I hope that I will not go back to drinking like a fish, but instead I'll go for quality over quantity, and hopefuly I'll only drink when I acutally fancy it, not just at every social occasion that occurs at a pub.

  • katie

    that is exactly the kind of thing i used to say to myself after a bit of clean time, for me now its one of the biggest lies i can tell myself, that a few occasions of moderation are indication that i could moderate myself continually. for me it is just not the case at all

  • luci

    you know where it will lead you... join my club

    I already joined that club once, but my wife got suspicious about the friction burns...

    The thing is, I'm not the sort of person who has one drink then simply HAS to drink the bar dry. I drink every day, more than is good for me, but I'm almost never pissed.

    I can't see me ever actually stopping, but I'll have to cut down a fair bit.

  • Fucking love bingeing. The key, ironically, is bingeing in moderation.

    I've been down the "connoisseur" route - whiskey, wine, real beer, etc. I can now drink lightly for the taste and take pleasure in it for itself and the company.

    But there's nothing like getting properly on it for 18 hours once or twice a year. There's enormous zen to be found when you get "edge of reason" shanted and maintain it without dropping off either side. Like surfing the nose or trading a bear run or nailing a manual on the edge of a drop.

  • i tried the connoisseur solution

    just had to have more of more expensive stuff at the end of the day

    did not work

  • This month I have:
    had one glass of wine (out of politeness)..
    stopped smoking..
    drunk green tea for the first time...

    And feel great!!

  • third year of non drinking and it just gets to be something I dont even bother about anymore, dont notice having more spare money though now thats a bit wierd....
    perhaps I should stop buying bike shit and doing events, would be loaded then,

  • I drink every day, more than is good for me, but I'm almost never pissed.

    I can't see me ever actually stopping, but I'll have to cut down a fair bit.

    I'm in that club. Bottoms up, anyway.

  • Im allergic to lies, but Im addicted to DUB

  • If they would serve tea in clubs i'd probably never drink on nights out and just drink for the taste. tonight i was on the cokes and water a blinding cuppa would have been awesome though.

  • I so rarely drink, a pint of shandy has an immediate effect on me now ... not that I desperately stay away from drinking, it just isn't something I do very often. I have a couple of bottles of Whisky at home, also Port and Marsalla and all that, but they last me forever. I pull them out when I had some nice grub with friends that came over or something like that.
    If I go out I usually have 1 glass of wine and then stop, as I am lightly drunk by the end of that for sure.

    I blame this change of metabolism on cycling and sports in general. Used to be able to neck 10 pints and have two packs of fags with it, if I was out for an all night bender, but nowadays I just don't do that kindo shit anymore ...

    Anyway, I think what Damo says ... if you're trying to drink less it's probably smart to just drink less, instead of forcefully turning yourself into a tee totaller and then crave a drink all night.

  • Pascalo

    Part of the definition of an alcoholic is there is a physical
    craving triggered by having the first drink, which they are powerless over. You can see this in people who routinely enter the pub saying "I am just popping in for one pint" and then proceed to stagger out at closing time.

    They are physically wired up differently to non alcoholics. It's part of the make up of people with the disease of addiction.

    The first drink exacerbates the craving and also lowers the resistance and there is a quick downwards spiral. Recovered alcoholics recognise this and through the other work they do are relieved of the obsession to drink.

    There is however the dry drunk who does not drink but has no way to treat their condition with a plan of recovery. They tend to crave drink and have no alternative structure in their lives to deal with the relentless obsession.

  • Pascalo

    Part of the definition of an alcoholic is there is a physical craving triggered by having the first drink, which they are powerless over.

    That answers a question for me. I've recently been drinking like an alchoholic, but not thinking like one. Changing the routine of the evening to cut out the pre-supper snifters has meant a big reduction in intake.

  • What a great thread!

  • If you don't want to drink don't. Suggestions that everyone ought to drink something, however much science or pseudoscience there may be behind them are total bollocks.

  • Sober here, interesting to read other people's perspectives.

    FWIW:
    Alcohol - Oct 31st 2007 (a couple of very drunk years before that)
    Illegal drugs - Sept 2001
    Prescription drug abuse - Dec 2007
    Animal products - 1985
    Refined sugar - Dec 2010

    I feel pretty good, I have great energy and am better company than five years ago.

    Good luck to all of you...

  • As a society we all seem very quick to label things as being "a problem" or an addiction.

    My "weight problem" or my "drinking problem". It almost seems like there is an attempt to make it all sound interesting and deep.

    Just a thought...

  • If you don't want to drink don't. Suggestions that everyone ought to drink something, however much science or pseudoscience there may be behind them are total bollocks.

    This.

  • If you don't want to drink don't. Suggestions that everyone ought to drink something, however much science or pseudoscience there may be behind them are total bollocks.

    I completely agree, Clive. No-one will die of thirst if they follow your advice. That's all pseudo-scientific bollocks. ;)

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The abstinence thread

Posted by Avatar for WornCleat @WornCleat

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