The abstinence thread

This thread is fantastic.

Mulled wine?
it's got fruit in and wine is for the lady so hardly a drink per se

+1

sorry... "a" Shirley Temple.

There is more than one? does the real Shirley Temple know? Wonder how many cabaret shows have been ruined when a short partially sighted octogenarian from Slough turns up for the finishing number good ship lollypop

I have a problem with sugary drinks, what sugar free drinks are there? Diet drinks are usually ok but after a while you get sick of those kinds of drinks and non alcoholic drinks are usually more expensive than alcohol.

my teeth go wooly

mmm, some pubs are better than others with the alc free choices, I love the fentimans ginger beer in the regent, but the c&h are not so good, got a bit 'tudey and tried to charge for tap water when asked for mineral water, when we went for the bake-off.

In my previous life as boozy man,I would have said,tough shit, it's a pub FFS, drink booze or fuck off. But I appreciate a pub now if it has the choices, and the attitude* for people to enjoy coming in regardless of whether they are drinking something with alchohol in or not. I gladly pay for what I have, as I am usually eating in a pub too, but do slightly resent being asked for over £2 for some shitty soda and "juice" being squirted into a glass full of ice. It's not the 70s any more.

*don't get the attitude of some pub staff when asked for non-alcoholic drinks, like somehow you are less important or some kind of mug, I grew up in pubs from age 6, my parents ran them. I probably know more about the licensed trade than some snotty 20-something with a hangover and no short term memory who thinks he's tom cruise in cocktail. Besides, pubs must have loads of non-drinkers, people who drive etc..it's hardly news.

Great post Rob. This stuff is exactly why I can feel myself being drawn back into drinking at the pub, just cos not doing so means you get fleeced.

Like dooks said, there was a time when a soda n lime cost you the price of a lime shot. And the soda would have been properly fizzy, from a siphon, free to help yourself on the bar ... ahh the good old days.

There is more than one? does the real Shirley Temple know? Wonder how many cabaret shows have been ruined when a short partially sighted octogenarian from Slough turns up for the finishing number good ship lollypop

No, I meant like... I like the non-alcoholic beverage named after the adorable all singing, all dancing pipsqueak from the 40's, but it sounded like I was keen on a little girl... but that would be weird so then I thought maybe I'd get away with saying I meant now, not when she was in the movies... but that was worse.

Isn't Shirley Temple-Black dead now? She was a US ambassador at one time, a long time ago. I think she also suffered from breat cancer which is not nice.

No, I meant like... I like the non-alcoholic beverage named after the adorable all singing, all dancing pipsqueak from the 40's, but it sounded like I was keen on a little girl... but that would be weird so then I thought maybe I'd get away with saying I meant now, not when she was in the movies... but that was worse.

I think you need to stop there.

It is also, thankfully, a thread that will, by definition, be Oliver-free.

This is called a self-pwn.

Im sure he's feeling bitter and ale-ienanted.

Alcohol makes him feel a lager than life character. It is amazing that he is not stout. He'll probably pop up to wine about something or other soon.

Hahaha! Yeah! Its even funnier because it was puns, and Oliver likes puns, so its just like he was here, but clive was saying he was thankful that Oliver wasn't here. Fucking HILARIOUS!

Good work, lads. That's the spirit.

I think you need to stop there.

Its worse after Clives post...

hangs head in shame

I am partial to Shirley Temple.

I always used to fancy Tripitaka. I was really confused, then found out he was actually a she.

I think you need to stop there.

Its even worse after Clives post...

hangs head in shame

I always used to fancy Tripitaka. I was really confused, then found out he was actually a she.

Really???? Tripitaka was a bit namby pamby. Sandy, however, put the fire in my loins.

so let me get this right; you wack off to old pictures of young girls.. and you do this sober?

He never said that Peregrine, old fruit.

You imaginated it. So its you who's into it. A kind of paedo 'whoever smelt it, dealt it' catch 22.

What??? That was directed at you, Skully!

wasn't it??

Clearly you've got your sanctimonius smug attitude to do that.

The vast majority of people who drink do so not because they need booze to feel better about themselves, but because booze is very nice. I have just been to the pub, had a lovely couple of very tasty ales and do you know what? I feel exactly the same about myself as before I went there.

Oh, and Frank Sinatra quote recognition fail.

Whoa! Where'd that come from? There was no smugness intended in my comment at all, just percieved by you, and I apologise for the FS quote recognition fail. I totally agree with what you you just said, but it looks as if there are crossed wires here.

Shirley Temple lives but is 81 and lost a breast 37 years ago. She was ambassador to Ghana and then to Czechoslovakia (1989-92)

A kind of paedo 'whoever smelt it, dealt it' catch 22.

Proper lols.

hey how said i was sober? i can't stand that kind of slander!

wahey!

I probably know more about the licensed trade than some snotty 20-something with a hangover and no short term memory who thinks he's tom cruise in cocktail.

That would have to be a 20-something with quite retro tastes, wouldn't it?

Two pints of Oxford Gold with my lunch. That didn't last long. Bollocks.

Balki?