HTFU Bike

GAY BIKE WILL HELP CHILDREN LEARN TO FIGHT 20-10-09 THE Gaytrack 400, the gayest-looking boys' bike ever, will help children to gain valuable self-defence skills, the manufactuers have claimed.

**Gaytrack makes it easier than ever to look totally gay at the beach

**The Gaytrack 400 comes in luminous pink, has no gears and a handlebar-mounted voice synthesiser that periodically says 'I am the biggest gaylord ever times infinity', in the voice of John Barrowman.

Gaytrack inventor Charles Hopkins said: "I was bullied at school, but I learned to fight back and ultimately emerged as a hard, sadistic bastard with the emotional capacity of a soup spoon. I designed Gaytrack 400 to give my 10-year-old son the same opportunities.

"Within a day of me making him ride it into school at gunpoint he'd had a kicking, a bogwash, and there was a rumour going round that he had sex with male baby rabbits."

He added: "A year later his self-defence skills and general aggression had improved so drastically that he was spending his half-terms working as a mercenary in Sierra Leone."

Gaytrack's special features include a mechanism that ensures a guaranteed wheelie failure whenever there are girls around, making the user fall off and cry so hard that a teacher has to call his mum.

Hopkins is now working on a similar bike for girls, under the working title of the 'Unpopularotron'.

He said, "It comes in a variety of unfashionable colours, weighs the same as a village and will gossip to the cool girls about how its owner got fingered by Matty Drayton round the back of the CDT block in return for a packet of Starburst."

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/gay-bike-will-help-children-learn-to-fight-200910202152/

daily mash = the onion ..... right ?

daily mash = the onion ..... right ?

ten four.

My new commuter in my favourite colour.. nice.

My new commuter in my favourite colour.. nice.

your goatee is HTFU enough as it is mate, why punish yourself further?

Terry's Chocolate Onion