Rant

Can you substitute dead mice for baking soda?

oatmeal cherry ginger cookies sound nice.

not so much a rant, but have a look what I was asked to do today. thank fuck i study and work full time. otherwise i would not be skilled enough for this sunlight and daylight bs.

thank fuck i went for a job interview last week.

FML

From: A***** T*******
Sent: 28 February 2011 12:41
To: Richard Howard
Subject: Presentation Images

R

Can you find a Jpeg image of a Lion, a gazel, a lion eating a gazel and a game/zoo keeper

ADT

A***** D T*******
**** Consultancy

I actually lol'd

Sounds like a presentation I need to see.

R

Can you also find some audio clips of Johnny Morris doing amusing voices for the afore-mentioned lion and gazelle, and in character as a zoo keeper.

ADT

It could be worse, they could sign off:

Trust Communicates,
C

re: Can you find a Jpeg image of a Lion, a gazel, a lion eating a gazel and a game/zoo keeper

are you serious? I wish i could get paid employment fulfilling requests like that, shit thats the kind of job i'd for free. Unpaid voluntary work-but you get to look up lions eating shit on the interwebs-form an orderly queue.

okay, go.

he wants them all in the same image.

on a good vibe, I just got a call for another position. I am going for an interview tomorrow - i'd love to tell them about this.

i have pins and needles in my left foot

Fuck Specialized inner tubes up the motherfucking ARSE.

fucking pieces of shit burst as soon as you put 100 PSI in the cunts.
two wheels, rigid 135psi rim liner in one, cloth tape + electrical tape in the other, checked the tyre thoroughy.

they are fucking crap and made by cunts.

I've been saying that for a while. Which is annoying as they had them in the Condor sale.

If you pump them up outside of the tyre you can see how bad they're made, some parts being thick and some being thin.

And fuck Maxxis Re-Fuse tyres, while we're at it. The second least puncture proof tyre I have ever used, I've been through loads of them and they have all been shit.

I find the culprit on a practically brand new tyre - the fucker has a weak spot between the sidewall and the seam, and it's bulging out. That's why these tubes go bang so easily. Virtually unused tyre heading straight for the bin.

I wish Schwalbe still made the wired stelvio plus.

agreed again. I used a Maxxis refuse for all of about 5 miles before it tore across its width. And the one that survived more than 5 miles, disintegrated in about 50.

they are fucking crap and made by cunts.

:-D

i too loathe specialised inner tubes

they never get punctures, because they fucking split along the seams

utter gash

Got told today by a BMXer at the Hackney Farm track,
after someone asked me if I was riding fixed:
"Fixed bikes belong in the track, that's where you should go...
besides, that bike will fuck the track...."
At first I was like..... sigh
But then I loled, and was like.... sigh

I'd fuck the track...

Why have not discovered this thread before.

Mr Saxo driver. Stop being such a mong and stop confirming the boy racer stereotype. Just because it's a saturday night doesn't mean I want to race you in my diesel. I know where you live so fuck off and die.

"Fuck off and Die" is one of my favourite sayings.

I'm yet to say it to anyone's face. I think I'd get a nice warm fuzzy feeling if I ever did

One guy said it to one geezer who was asking why there wasn't any broccoli let at Tesco at 3.50pm on a sunday ... But then again the bloke did look like a bear.

Dear Royal Mail,

you are a band of fucking inept cretins. The tracking service you provide is not worth a fucking jot. So, you attempted to deliver the parcel I sent back to a shop at 8.00am and they weren't there? Surprise surprise. And because they can't find the card you're supposed to have left they can't pick it up, so you've attempted to send it back to me? But you've lost it, even though it has my address written on it? What exactly was all that money for that I gave you? Could you please tell me what number I should call in order to call you a cunt? Your website is a joke and there's no way of actually contacted a human being associated with you. And your fake fucking 'online assistant', 'Sarah' is not real at all is she? She's just an image of a smiley face used to gloss over the fact that you're an utterly fucking incompetent organisation. I used to care, but now I hope you're sold off if only to have you put out of your misery.

CUNTS.

my fucking bastard pre-pay credit card company now have a $75 minimum load so now instead of paying £15 for my web server this month I have to put three months worth onto the card in one go.