Rant

This thread really does have everything now.

Cool, take a look at that later
I had live tapes too, hecklers screaming 'fuck off!!!!!' drowning him out...

something like this:

I was on this bus the other night, right, going up the kingsland road, when some fucking cunt courier waltzes on, blabbing on his mobile and carrying - i kid you not - a fucking frame over his shoulder like he has to prove the fucking point that he's a courier to everyone on the bus, as if his shitting hat weren't already proof enough, and who the fuck cares anyway.

Anyway, this fucking bellend courier cunt, this prick, is talking to some shit-merchant paedophile drug dealer cock on his mobile about getting hold of some 'brown' like he's just heard about it from a furtive flick-through of a dog-eared copy of an irvine welsh novel whilst sitting in a clinic waiting to find out if he's got the fucking clap.

Then he turns to us, this twisted heap of courier shit, all be-hatted and be-framed, and ...

:)

**exegesis

**i simply have to tell someone about this; it would be too, too cruel to keep it to myself.
I was riding on the omnibus up the kingsland road last night, a little after the witching hour.
A gentleman alighted wearing the kind of titfer usually associated with delivery boys. He had also about him an bicycle frame of the sort employed by reg harris (perhaps this was merely a conversational drollery). The chap was talking rather loudly and in an exuberant manner in to his electronic ear trumpet. "do you perchance stock brown...yes, brown. You don't? Oh dear. You wouldn't happen to have any k would you?"
he then regailed my companions and i with really quite amusing stories about the aforementioned 'brown'. We deprecated rather. However the man then revealed that he had scored a not unimpressive 78 not out at the lords cricket ground having ingested a large slice of brown. We demurred with less conviction.
To top it all off this rather colourful gentleman of the night then let it be known that his hat was one of only four of its kind in the whole metropolis.
His name was lord paulo.

:D

olcc

@wigan

well my deepest apologies for the new threat, i wasn't paying attention.

you like the cap bit? the bit about the cap is my least favorite bit tbh, the bit i like the most is how much of a putrid cunt our Paolo is and what his mother and father would think if they saw how their darling cherub had taken to telling strangers how much of a smack faced cretin he had become, to the point where he is so deluded that he thinks he gets better grades on a brown come down.

if he was writing profound literary master pieces, enhancing his work with every whiff of smoke he inhales from the blackened foil i would have some respect. not much but some.

if he feels the need to trumpet his genius on a bus to any tom dick or harry on a bus on his way home then i hope he ends up in a secure ward trying to fit as many haribo in his orifices as possible while his mammy and pappy observe him through the glass and think "well at least the others turned out fine"

a few details i left out
he said his name was "Paul, but you can call me Paolo"

the cap was a Supreme New Era, looked like this but it was a bike hat
http://www.doobybrain.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/supreme-black-box-hat.jpg

frame looked like a rusty busted up piece of shit, but what do i know, it could have been made of gold but probably just stuffed with brown and pearls of wisdom scratched out on little scraps of paper

if he feels the need to trumpet his genius on a bus to any tom dick or harry on a bus on his way home then i hope he ends up in a secure ward trying to fit as many haribo in his orifices as possible while his mammy and pappy observe him through the glass and think "well at least the others turned out fine"

This is good. Based on a true story?

You guys are dicks.

That said, I did laugh..

yeah shark that bit was based on my brother. he chose tangfastic, not what i would have picked but i am a sucked for the cola bottles

fucking hell. what is this network?
some half baked shitty budget cutting pile of crap. I can't believe how slow this is!
I've been at another university with a very similar network load, if not a bit higher, and this is your answer.

Fucking appalling.
Can't even load Gmail.
Fucksake.

And I pay for the privilege, utter cuntish morons. Upgrade the fucking thing instead of spending millions on new fucking buildings for subjects that have a shit tonne of buildings.
You fucking moronic arsewipes.

Must be awful when you say you are logging off the forum for a couple of weeks and then your network slows down your ability to post every day :)

All the big Uni's got multi-Gig pipes into JA.NET for free up until now, they are going to have to start/have started paying for them.

Bandwidth is no longer cheap.

I went to overtake a bus that was pulling in to a bus stop, couldn't hear any cars behind me, so pretty relaxed. Took a quick glance over my shoulder only to not see any cars, but another cyclist with his front wheel centimeters to the right of my front wheel. Utter fucking idiot. He then proceded to keep attempting to overtake me, but was just too slow.

I'm getting very pissed off with the postman who delivers down my street. Every day I end up having to walk up and down the road, redirecting items of mail which he puts through my door.
Surely the prime requisite for employment as a postman is the ability to read an envelope and put letters in the correct letterbox?
I'm not even sure if he can speak english, let alone read it. Previous attempts at a cheery "good morning", followed by a polite request to check the address before delivering, have been met by baffled silence and an expression which suggests I've asked him to explain string theory.

it's not hard to read an ebay description. I've had 5 different people ask me if my Zipp is 700c. It says it is in the fucking listing!

more importantly is it SBS or YKK?

Wasted entire lunch break trying to fit my restraps without proper tools (i.e. something to hold the tiny tiny nut in place while I screwed the allen bolt into it) and without removing pedals.

how the fuck can it take an HOUR and I only managed to tighten 3.5 little bolts (aka almost one whole strap). proper fucking fail.

I didn't have time to remove it (not that I could get the bastard thing off again if i wanted to) so have had to tuck it up under the pedal so I can ride home where I can take the pedal off and do it properly.

fag break talk>water cooler talk

it's not hard to read an ebay description. I've had 5 different people ask me if my Zipp is 700c. It says it is in the fucking listing!

blank the idiots

I also had a guy ask me if it would take clincher tyres.

Well? Did it?

no.

Is anyone else pursued by the Goddess of Discord?

I had arranged to buy a frame from this site, and sorted swaps for brakes and saddle from the cross stuff i had for roadie stuff for the new frame.
Yesterday on the way home my car developed a growling noise, which it seems is caused by a dual mass flywheel. Repair cost? £750. I didn't pay that much for my last two bikes.

I know some people don't own cars for various reasons, and at least I can afford the repair - at the cost of the new frame - but why can't God piss down some other bugger's neck just for once?

Htfu?

You can drive it and just get it sorted when ever. You can get OEM parts to make it cheaper.

I would be tempted to buy an old Civic/Corolla/Mondeo for £350 instead.

Gah! A) posted in Coffee Appreciation as guapo, B) am posting this as guapo, C) gave the rest of my baking soda to my housemate to assist in purging dead mouse smell. Forgot this until after returning from the store and gathering ingredients to make oatmeal cherry ginger cookies.