Look At My Wad (Free Advice Wanted)

I am an Ordained Minister in The Universal Life Church (formerly of Modesto Ca).
To save yourself from eternal slavery, you should send your "wad" of cash to me, to fund my righteous road bike

Hey me too:

eyebrows, I asked first, and are you also an ordained minister?

sure am.
even have a newspaper clipping:

• Exeter mass wedding bliss Mawuli Ladzekpo Thursday, 17 November 2005
  Exeter
  College became the love capi*tal of Oxford on Saturday
  morning when a number of the college’s Freshers got married to one another.The
  ceremony was conducted by ‘Father’ Chris Beaumont and ‘Father’ Henry Taysom,
  both of whom are priests of the Universal Life Church of California, as well as
  being stu*dents at the College.They
  received their calling into the priesthood via the ‘instant ordi*nation’ link
  on the church’s website just under two weeks ago. Saturday’s wedding service,
  which saw more than thirty couples tie the knot, is their first since joining
  the ‘clergy’. Each couple will receive a certificate which officially registers
  their mar*riage in the church. Father
  Beaumont said, “If we had been in California
  all we would need to do is to obtain the consent of the state senator, and the
  marriage would have actually been legally binding!”The
  University Life Church of California is well established in the USA. The church
  is said to take a lib*eral stance on such issues as same sex marriages and
  bigamy.However,
  while the exchanged matrimonial vows might be legally binding in the newly
  wedded Exonians are only bound to remain together as college parents to their
  college children – that is, the Freshers arriving next year.Father Taysom stated, “The honeymoon starts now. I should
  therefore expect all husbands to be fulfilling their matrimonial duty of
  playing with their wives.
  

Wow, eyebrows, you are the first other minister I have met.
I've never done a ceremony.
Few typos in the above article, it's Universal (not university).
Let's share some communion wine sometime soon.
It doesn't need to be California, the marriage would be recognised in about 48 states.