Let's offroad / mountain bike / mtb / ride dirt

^^ It's only money.

*Not my money, which makes it very easy for me to say.

Also, I just popped into your Porsche thread, and a grand for some cranks seems like a mere drop in the ocean.

https://ride5dev.com/products/new-crank-product-page

Might get expensive replacing them when they snap every ride though

Ee wings? I saw a Sam pilgrim video where he put them on his trick bike just because he kept snapping others and they have a lifetime warranty

The 5Dev ones have a bit of a reputation for not remaining in one piece. I suspect eewings would outlast the human race.

Lots of extra places to store mud! Yippee!

LOL 5 -axis CNC machine and they create something that looks a lot worse than a 90s Azonic stem.

Crap in torsion, shear and bending about the minor axis; collects mud and is as aero as a brick.
Apart from that I'm sure they're worth the money....

Small batch cranks, suitably priced, seems to fit the bill

https://www.actofive.com/parts/coming-soon-signature-crankset-2

The XTR cranks that I have are making a "my bearings are fucked" noise, but the preload collar thing backs itself off whilst you're riding (which is very annoying) so I don't know whether it's bearings or the crank moving sideways under power and making noise from that - and frankly I don't want to have to care, I just want the cranks to be silent and not break.

Had a ride round Friston forest the other weekend with a small group, visiting the long man brewery and Alfriston as a concession to the roadies.
I’m not sure who Jeremy Cole is but the official MTB ‘red’ is awful - steep, rooty, greasy uphills followed by long straight wide gentle rolls downhill, with the odd suicidal chute (also dead straight and rooty).
Had a lot more fun off piste on the unofficial trails that cross the main forest paths and got thoroughly wet and muddy!

Decathlon MTB shorts are brilliant for the money, if stylistically challenging.

You've tightened the tiny bolt on the collar? Can't say I've ever had this issue.

I do get a crunch noise but it's more chain/cassette crunch on steep inclines

I'll have a look, I need to strip it apart and put it back together again to try to banish the creaks

NM.

Any interest in my jump bike? It’s a Transition PBJ in L (for long), completely stock apart from the longer seatpost I fitted so it can be ridden to the track like a normal bike, then ridden around with the saddle down until you wish to ride home again.

£800.

Just checking on this - the Raaw Madonna has boost spacing, this means that my chainline needs to be +3mm, where the options are 0,+3 and +6 for the crank spider?

Therefore, in order to fit on a pair EE Wings cranks, the correct spider for my Madonna would have the following characteristics:

Direct Mount Standard: Sram
BCD: 104
Chainline Offset: 3

Here's the frame specifications:
Rear hub 148 x 12
Shifting One-by only, boost, 36t max
BB 73mm BSA / ISCG05

(I very much don't want to get the wrong thing).

My new, and as yet unridden, FS MTB came as standard with Minion DHRs front and rear. I'll be using Forekasters for all-round use, but I'll keep the Minions on the spare wheelset for more verty stuff. Is it worth getting a DHF to fit on the front, and keep the DHR fitted on the front now as a spare, or should I just stick with the DHRs front and back?

You may not care but worth noting that ee wings are quite wide, they will add 1cm to your current Q factor. How sensitive your knees are to that sort of thing, I don't know.

I have a pretty wide stance on the MTB, but that's good info - thanks.

176mm to be precise
XTR is 162mm or 168mm depending on which ones you have.

168mm, as they're the "Enduro" ones.

I'm thinking (because, why not):

165mm EE Wings cranks
WRP Centrehub spider
Wolfs Tooth 12 speed HG+ ring

I'll need to pick up a chainguide as well - any recommendations?

Direct Mount Standard: Sram

BCD: 104
Chainline Offset: 3

This is correct.

The pbj is steel right? It's tempting. It would be a bike that I'd definitely use more often than the Serotta. I've not even left London yet...