I only read the punchline. I dont get it....
Barman messed up badly there not having the ham and cheese available.
What with all these new covid restrictions
I think it's all gonna end in tiers
I’m not saying I’ve put on much weight during lockdown but I fell down the stairs last night, and the wife thought Eastenders had just finished.
At my job interview:
"Your biggest fault?"
"Well, I admit I sometimes muddle up fantasy and reality"
"And your greatest strength?"
"Your biggest weakness?"
"Sometimes I can be brutally honest"
"I'm not sure I'd say that's necessarily a weakness?"
"I don't give a fuck what you think mate"
When can you start ?
"I really like cocaine."
"Welcome to banking!"
Interviewer: "Your weakness?"
Me: "I guess sometimes I fixate on semantics and miss the pragmatic answer."
Interviewer: "Could you give me an example?"
Me: "Yes I could."
Medical chap walks into a bar.
" I'd like you to mix me a drink with ground hickory nuts"
" Oh, I see, you'd like a hickory daiquiri, doc"
Theologian: Actually it’s not called “Calvary”, its real name is “Golgotha”.
Me: Weird hill to die on, but okay.
Motorsport nerd: That's not Eau Rouge actually, it's Raidillon.
I've just been offered a job lot of Italian sportswear
Just putting the Fila 's out if any one would like some
Due to the current economic climate
I guess some people will be coming Kappa in hand
My friend Dora has expressed interest but she is a real stickler for propriety
So I have started my letter ' Diadora , etc etc...
What did Hamlet say to the Italian sportswear designer ?
' Ellesse poor Yorick ....'
This has to stop, we have to restore some balance....
A New balance.
Fuck this, I'm off to the dry cleaners to grab my wife Michelle's work clothes.
That's right, I'm picking up Michelle's suit.
This sports puns can jog on
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Congrats to Tao on winning the Giro