Jokes / Joke du jour!

Mandatory "I tried beef stew but it wasn't stroganoff" response

Do you know that every planet in the solar system is named after a God?
Except for Earth, that’s just named for a bunch of shit on the ground.

Some amorous kayaking friends of mine have just been done for
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canoe-dling in public

Oarful

Like Fosters' lager. Fucking close to water.

Why did he duck get arrested?
... for selling quack

Why did the puffin get arrested?

It didn't you jabroni it's a fucking bird.

I've just returned from Iceland and been told I need to self quarantine for 14 days
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I'm never shopping there again

Phoned up to book an hotel and the receptionist said "Hello Best Western" so I said "True Grit".

True Grit? You should be unforgiven.

For a few dollars more you could have gone to the Marriott.

For a few dollars more you could have gone to the Marriott.

Right turn Clyde?

I wasn't impressed with the toiletries at the Best Western.

Just a Lonesome Dove.

I thought they were quite good. Breakfast was still available at High Noon.

I've heard they have a pasta restaurant called Spaghetti Western.

It's had mixed reviews......

I gave it a magnificent 7

Anyone tell me where this place is? It’s a big country.

Stayed there once, had pictures right up against the ceiling, god knows why they hang em high.

The manager is a bit of an odd one, I hear he dances with wolves.

I arranged a date with someone I'd never met near that place. They were easy to spot, she wore a yellow ribbon.

Lonesome Dove.

I have the book on my shelf and I am intimidated by its girth.

Shane? Yeah he was in the wild bunch.

~~Surely “6 of them aren’t happy” makes more logical sense?

(I’ve been thinking about it all week)~~

Edit: my version still doesn't work.