Jokes / Joke du jour!

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  • Boiling water. Stolen. Thank you

  • If a turtle is flipped on to its shell, it can starve and eventually will diapsid-down.

  • Why shouldn't you wear y-fronts in ukraine?

    Chernobyl fallout

  • good briefs

  • Back in the day we recited that one as follows
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    Why shouldn't you wear russian underpants?
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    Because Chernobyl fallout

  • Michael Gove's cocaine admission may put his career on the line ...

  • In other news....
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    There has been a massive cannabis seizure in sarf babylon-don
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    Police and customs mounted a joint operation

  • I had to fix Cat Steven's caravan today.

    His awning had broken...

  • God: you’re a parrot.

    Parrot: ok.

    God: you can repeat everything you hear.

    Parrot: humans are the worst.

    God: uh what?

    Parrot: i’ll prolly kill them in a flood soon.

    God:

    Parrot:

    God: what’s it gonna take to keep this quiet?

    Parrot: I wanna live in a tropical paradise.

  • Shouldn’t have made me laugh as much as it did.

    Stolen.

  • Like, he was all moaning... etc.

  • Why is 6 afraid of 7?

    789.......

  • They say you should never fight fire with fire

    And that's why my Dad got sacked from the Fire Brigade

  • Yo momma is so short, you can see her feet on her driver's license.

    this isn't an invitation to go crazy with yo momma jokes just thought this one was great

  • What do you call a homing pigeon that can't find its way home?

    A pigeon.

  • EDIT: Nah. Relayed a joke I heard that while not racist, employs a deceit that relies on a racist assumption. Decided I’m not even going to touch that area of humour.

  • I've heard that joke, but with the addition of "...you racist" in the punchline, in response to the person being told the joke's "I don't know"

  • I went to see a film about Orion's belt the other night. Not bad, not great either.

    Three stars.

  • homemade gag alert

    Ever since I started my cat on his new food, he's really become aggressive

    He's walking about the place, giving it the big iams......

  • I saw Sinead O’Connor in a birdwatching hide and asked her what activity she’d seen.

    “It’s been seven owls and 15 jays.”

  • "All Tory MPs think Boris is an arse, except for Chris Grayling, who thinks he’s an elbow.” - Richard Osman

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Jokes / Joke du jour!

Posted by Avatar for Pistanator @Pistanator

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