Jokes / Joke du jour!

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  • I don’t want to just palm you off with any old joke.

  • I used to tell a good one armed joke, but they banned it.

  • Can you hear that?

    Can you hear me not slow clapping?

    Right now I'm giving the finger to puns.

  • Darling, would now be a good time to try that fisting we've been talking about?

  • I once went to see a low-budget production of a play about a man with a broken arm.

    the cast was terrible.

  • Did you hear the one about the one armed fisherman?

    It was this big.

  • Jeremy Beadle has a small penis.

    Although on the other hand it’s quite big

  • But only one. All I got.

  • Did you hear about the one armed waiter? They could dish it out but couldn't take it too.

  • Something something book something something a farewell to arms

  • Just had a phone call telling me my grief counsellor has died. He did such a good job I don't give a shit.

  • I've been reading a horror story in Braille, but something bad is about to happen, I can feel it.

  • I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home all the signs were there...

  • Reminds me of:
    "I saw an ad for a double entendre competition. I was thinking of entering my dad".

  • Excellent dad jokes!

  • See also; A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre. So the barman gives her one.

  • Been asking the missus for ages to sexually stimulate me with a key ring but she just keeps fobbing me off.

  • "I saw an ad for a double entendre competition. I was thinking of entering my dad".


  • Geekiest joke for a while:

    What did David Bowman say to the wildcard dictionary search? “Oh my god, it’s full of st*rs”

  • What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

    Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes you whole week.

  • Is that the Kleene version of that joke?


  • RIP boiling water

    You will be mist

  • Do you have any books on turtles?
    Yes, with little flippers

  • There have been reports of a collision between a lorry carrying tortoises and a van full of terrapins

    It's a turtle disaster

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Jokes / Joke du jour!

Posted by Avatar for Pistanator @Pistanator