What makes a fakenger?

Is it just having a bag from Chrome or Bagaboo?

How should I spot them? And am I one?

yes David, you are the king of the fakengers
;0

No, I'm the King of the Fakengers!!!!!!!!

Here's proof:

If you look really really really really closely you can make out the word 'wanker' on my socks....

but Bill, fakenger points off for rolling up BOTH trouser legs ;)

yeah, but I get extra points for having my saddle too low

http://www.movingtargetzine.com/article/fakenger#c002816

Also Bill, you used to me a messenger which gives you authenticity that the true Fakenger, such as myself, could never have.

I am King of the Fakengers. Each day I pull up outside a bank as if I'm about to deliver something, and then I go inside, put on a suit and work there.

Is there anyone who can out-fake that????

I doubt it

I'm not a messenger anymore, and now you tell me I'm not even a proper fakenger?

Shit, life doesn't get any easier as you get older, does it?

that's true.

I reckon whatever I do, I'll always be too old to be a fakenger.

that realisation may break a lesser man, but the drink will help me through it.

I think I'll always spend too much money. You've got to ride something under a grand to look convincing I reckon. I've blown it, especially in lycra.

velocity boy I've blown it, especially in lycra.

yeah, that's not even when you're riding :-P

Latex, you're thinking of.

and you haven't taken a dremel to your sidis to make them look worn.

and your bikes is waaay too clean

So are my clothes. I wash them. I don't see what the problem is with doing this.

A true messenger/fakenger ONLY washes his clothes when the pub is shut.

Oh, have I told my terrible messenger/controller jokes on this forum yet?

No, I didn't think so.

How many messengers does it take to change a light-bulb?

• F*** off, I'm not going up there!
  

What's the difference between God and a controller?

• God doesn't think s/he's a controller.
  

What do you call a messenger without a girl-friend?

• Homeless
  

What's the difference between a controller and a can of dog food?

• Dog food has brains in it.
  

And the one about the fixie and the tampon ......!!!!!

Jos! This is a polite forum.

There's a version of the God one that's about Eddy Merckx, but I can't remember how it goes.

:-(

"wanker" on your socks.....you wuss!

I'm always more than happy to wear my sexuality as a badge......

Wore this for months and I don't think anyone in the office (even you) noticed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0jjQ13dbpc