Why I do Not Need Another Bike.

You clearly need to sit down and and actually think about the various bikes that you could need / want. Off of the top of my head you probably need at least 95% of the following -

He will also need a "current project" bike, which is 169% necessary although sometimes overlooked.

SockToy. You clearly haven't thought this through at all. You need to have a word with yourself, this is terrible.