• Speaking as a NPTC certified chainsaw/pesticide geek, do NOT swing one of those fuckers around to clear the garden, especially not some poorly maintained pos from a hire place.
    If you clip anything remotely tough at full revs its gonna come straight back into your knees. You're better off with a brushcutter(more manly version of a strimmer) while wearing hightop workboots and a couple of pairs of jeans if not protective leggings.

    Billhook, slasher, loppers, htfu.
    Once you've got that shit down and cleared out you want to dig up any stumps you can and apply glyphosate over the ivy/hardier stumps, put a bin bag over weighed down with some stones and wait(don't leave it exposed or any roaming moggies will have some problems).

    And talk to Stix on here, for she is the queen of the gardeners.

    Oh, and if you hire a saw/hedgecutter and whack it into a wall, fencepost etc you're gonna get a bill for sharpening it(about £40 for a hedgecutter)

    OR

    PAY ME TO DO IT!

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