• I live in Camden, and I recon it's got better in the last few years. I got home from Iraq in December 2004 and there were three yellow murder signs between my flat and the tube. I thought maybe I should turn round and go back out there.
    These days, it's all Spanish tourists. It's been months since anyone offered me any drugs. The people who own the market have invested so much money here that the council have to be seen to be doing something. I'm not saying it's totally safe, but a few years ago we had stabbings every night and a bloke was shot in Cafe Nero.

    That makes my neighbourhood (West Croydon bordering Broad Green) like a [insert most pleasant place name here]!

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