to be honest i don't really think the saddle is the problem. i have normal sitbones, but have ridden lots of diffrent sized saddles, including womens saddles. they've always been comfortable once set up right. also theres the age old problem of over analising and finding fault where there is none. just ride and you will become accustomed to it.
also i know your not stupid and have done plenty of research, but maybe its possible your fit is wrong or technique is a bit off. a while back i changed the way i supported my upper body weight by arching my back more and everything became infinatly more comfortable.
to be honest i don't really think the saddle is the problem. i have normal sitbones, but have ridden lots of diffrent sized saddles, including womens saddles. they've always been comfortable once set up right. also theres the age old problem of over analising and finding fault where there is none. just ride and you will become accustomed to it.
also i know your not stupid and have done plenty of research, but maybe its possible your fit is wrong or technique is a bit off. a while back i changed the way i supported my upper body weight by arching my back more and everything became infinatly more comfortable.