Possibly the best ad ever...

Advertising isn't just crass consumerism, it does serve a useful purpose. You need x product and there are many varieties of it; advertising tells you which is the one you want. Without advertising you'd have to do all that tedious research on your own for everything you ever need.

I am an ad man and this is only a bit tongue-in-cheek.

You're an ad man? You suck satan's cock, as a wiser man than myself once said