• I was once walking along a pavement in holloway, pushing my bike cos i had a puncture, when this crazy bitch shot out of the door of some crusty boutique straight into my path. This resulted in confusion and the inadvertent wangling of my front wheel in amongst the folds of her long skirt.

    "you shouldn't be cycling on the pavement"
    "i'm not"
    "well, you shouldn't have your bike on the pavement"
    "I've got a puncture!"
    "you should've brought your puncture repair kit"
    "yes and you should've brought your spatial awareness"

    (last two lines are a slight embellishment)