Brand new.

Thats totally Ediculous ;)

No i'm sitting at work, bored shitless counting the minutes until I can fuck off and go home.

I don't wear skinny jeans
I don't have an ironically styled hair cut that looks like someone attacked me with a lawnmower (in fact I must be going on 3 months without a haircut)
I don't have any sense of style/fashion whether ironic or not
I don't wear fake glasses, normal glasses, or any other stupid piece of Whoreditch Hoxbitch fashion.

They make you work on a Saturday? What kind of utterly responsible job do you have in order to be burdened with such a thing?

And for the other points, good to hear.