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@!Nhattattack!
I have a good and funny U-locking story, sadly it's not mine.
My friend Gertie is a 5'5" welshman, with a plucky smile and a very nice Cannondale, he's one of the nicest people I've ever met. Oh, and he's career courier.
A few years back he was riding down Oxford street having a screaming match with a black cab driver who cut him off. In the heat of the moment he took his d-lock out (we are in England, folks) and swung it against the windscreen of the cab. The small crack it made became a small series of cracks, then the whole windscreen went.
At the point the cab driver decides to get out of the cab, so he opens the door and starts getting out....and keeps getting out....and keeps getting out, until this mountain of a man is standing in front of our small Welsh lock wielding hero.
Fortuntly, an undercover police officer steps out of the crowd and places Gertie under arrest. He say's it the only time in his life he has been happy to see the police.