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  • "Eeh lad, that's not a proper bike! You want to try riding these 'ere 'ills on the one I 'ad as a lad! 'undred miles in t'day, stopped for fish 'n' nurks, then 'undred miles 'ome again. We didn't 'ave no gears neither. Not like that namby pamby.... oh. You're right lad. It is was like that. Fixed wheel, aye. Didn't think they still made 'em. Bob Jackson's made mine, all custom made! Not like that namby pamby... Oh. So it is. Well my saddle had no padding! It were solid leather! Had to break it in with me bollocks, I did! Oh, so I see. Brooks. Didn;t think they still made them neither...
    Well my bike weighed 47 pounds, and t'wheels were made o' lead! I road it to Scotland and back twice a day, carrying me mam and me four brothers, to see me sick granny,.....
    Come back! Come back you ignorant bugger!
    Mumble mumble, spell in t'army... mumble mumble... national service...mumble...

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